Do you like kinky sex
Dirty Talk: These suggestions make sex even hotter
Anyone who generally thinks of dirty talk thinks of sentences of the species "Bend over, you bitch!" Unfortunately, the porn industry has once again educated us wonderfully and we think of simply structured mess when it comes to dirty talk. And that scares off many.
It's a shame! Because of course dirty talk is dirty, but it can also be damn sophisticated dirty. And that makes the difference. Nobody wants to sound like the blonde with the IQ just over 60 in the cheap porn movie, but we want to make him hot, right?
In the video: This is what men think of women who are loud during sexVideo by Aischa Butt
Dirty Talk heats up properly
Hand on heart: will you tell your loved one how hot he is? Can you always think of the right words when you want to tell him how hot you are right now?
No? Well then you are not alone. The sex therapist Barbara Keesling has written a book about sex talk in which she explains and makes dirty talk accessible to bloody beginners step by step.
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She says, "Most of us are still as silent during sex as if they were in a library! Although so many of us would like to communicate differently, most of us still try to convey our sexual desires and feelings to our partner through one complicated combination of moans, gestures, incomprehensible muttered words and heavy breaths. "
The result is that misunderstandings and disappointments arise in bed. So why are we silent? According to a survey by the magazine 'Lisa', only 44 percent of Germans use dirty talk to get into an erotic mood.
Dirty talk can be learned
The most important point: Simply free yourself from fears and concerns and instead get out of the way. Author Barbara Keesling, a self-confessed dirty talk fan, says: "I have not come to know anything that causes a greater change in people's sex life than dirty talk. Those who talk erotically to one another experience sex very differently." That sounds more than promising.
You will see how grateful your sex partner is when you not only show him, but also simply state clearly what you find exciting about him and what you would like to do in bed.
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Has your lover ever breathed into your ear how incredibly he would like to have hot sex with you now? Well then you know how good that feels and how hot that makes you. And that will certainly not be any different for him.
Dirty talk is an ingenious weapon in your hands to get his (and your) hormones really going. Or does it turn you on when men, slightly jammed, refer to their penis as a “little friend” or “that one down there” and otherwise don't call things by their name, as if they were blushing teenagers? No right?
Take it easy
But be careful! Anyone who has previously been one of those who remain silent in bed should not frighten their partner by suddenly surprising them with rough vocal eroticism in bed. And depending on how dirty it gets, he may also feel offended. Even as a woman you don't want to be the "princess" yesterday and suddenly be called a "horny bitch" in bed.
So feel your way forward slowly - and drag him along! As a start, it is sometimes helpful to read something hot together and show your loved one through the flower in such a way that dirty expressions turn you on.
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Use your dirty talk voice
Of course, you don't make the erotic love whisper in the same tone as you give a Powerpoint lecture. After all, what we say is just as important as the way we say something.
A high-pitched head voice is not particularly arousing, so just use your bed voice. You do not have? Sure you do! Imagine whispering into the phone - such a quiet, deep whisper from your stomach. Voilá - this is your sex voice.
Dirty talkers mainly use stimulus words that are all as low as possible below the belt. With "Hello, I think it would be nice if we could go to bed and have sex, honey!" it will be difficult to light the fire in your bed companion. You want to start a wildfire - so be explicit and direct.
If the directness of dirty talk doesn't come off your lips so easily, just be really ambiguous. Clearly ambiguous sentences, breathed into the ear of the loved one at the right moment, are at least as exciting as a cheeky directness à la "Do it for me!" It is important not to memorize any sentences and parrot them, but to stay true to your own style.
Dirty talk can break taboos
But it can't be too tender either. Because we need that little indignant shock effect to be aroused. The reason for this lies in our brain and the censorship built into it. Most of us have this censorship, both through our good upbringing and our experience.
It defines which words are "forbidden". A whispered "Fuck me!" kicks more than "allowed" sentences. This is about the attraction of the forbidden. If we hear words and sentences at which our censorship sounds the alarm, the pleasant shower effect sets in in the brain and the hormones boil.
Read also: Lull in bed? We reveal the 8 ultimate lust killers!
What turns you on
Finding the right words is certainly not that easy for everyone at first. Just take your time and note which terms you like for vagina, breasts, buttocks or penis that you like.
You will be able to say very quickly which terms you feel comfortable with and which ones make you shudder or make you laugh. Other terms are quite arousing, but have they been too vulgar for you until now? Perfect! Note! This is how you create your own word repertoire for bed.
Verbal testing phase
Don't start straight away with the wildest sentences. First test what he likes - and what makes you feel sexy. You will notice from his reaction what he likes and what is already too rough for him. And if he tends to shrink back, you will also know.
Those who don't like "I want to get it for you" can simply praise their partner. "I like the way you ..." or "I love it when ..." That makes even the toughest men happy. Or you compliment him on his body. You don't have to praise his penis to heaven for that, you can find everything else about him arousing too. His skin, his neck, his stomach ... everything.
No more "would have, could, wanted"
Important: Leave out the miserable subjunctive. "I would like to ..." doesn't sound half as sexy as an urgent "I want!" Say that you "have to" and "want" to do it. Quite simply and directly. That sounds like passion and sensuality.
Advanced learners can then formulate their secret wishes very directly. So "I want" - demand. You want him to rip your clothes off? Say it. Do you want him to blindfold you? Breath it in his ear. In the left one, because that's connected to the emotional half of his brain.
Dirty talk is worth it
Even if you feel strange at first: We have long known that most men find self-confident women hot. A woman who knows what she wants and who has no qualms about saying it clearly - even in bed.
Sex expert Barbara Keesling says: "To speak sexy means to be provocative, tempting, stimulating and seductive. More natural and direct. It means not to be afraid to ask for what you want. In short: It means a lot more Having fun in bed. " There is nothing to add.
Tips For complete beginners, how to overcome your language inhibitions can be found in numerous guides, e.g .: Sex Talk, Barbara Keesling, Ariston Verlag 14.95 €
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