Is it normal to feel angry?
Dealing with anger, anger & Co.
There is no life without anger. The feeling of anger is completely normal - even if it has to be seen in context. However, it is essential to ensure that these feelings do not become a burden or even danger for the person or those around them. Having feelings under control helps to cope better with everyday life.
Feel forward step by step
Find your way step by step. Rather, set yourself small goals that you can meet. From time to time, however, you can also “let go” of your feelings, as long as neither you nor others are harmed. How people react in a given situation depends on many different factors. Stress and strain generally make it harder to cope with uncomfortable feelings. The life story also has an influence on coping mechanisms (e.g. which experiences in childhood are linked to it or how anger and anger were topics in the family).
Be aware of your feelings and needs, pay attention to them. Express them - but without harming others or yourself. Your anger and anger are energy. You can use this for positive action.
It is also important to avoid harmful coping mechanisms. This includes excessive alcohol consumption, drugs, etc. These usually increase the propensity for violence and can also have legal consequences. Moreover, they do not solve problems, but rather multiply them.
It is often not easy to notice that you are angry. Then it is also difficult to do something that makes it easier to deal with. How can you recognize anger? For example in the following reactions:
- increased eradicability,
- Difficulty relaxing
- very loud language (e.g. screaming),
- high willingness to conflict,
- strong physical tension.
These marks can indicate anger. However, they also occur in other contexts. When you deal with it, you notice more easily what feelings might be behind it.
Tips for general anger balance
The following tips are helpful for general anger balance:
- Be careful with your feelings. So you can already tell when trouble is looming.
- Write down what bothers you. Or confide in someone about this.
- Find personal, harmless outlets for anger, e.g. the stress-killer movement (walking quickly around the city block or looking for a long-term hobby to balance things out).
- Look at yourself with a friendly look, less self-critical. In this way, you can usually meet others with less anger.
- You may also want to find out who was or is a role model for you. Is she / he still doing this? Would you like to be like that?
Tips against tantrums
- If the anger boils up in you, tell yourself "stop"! Or count to ten. This short break gives you leeway to calm down again.
- When you feel that you are about to have a tantrum, consciously take a deep breath. Focus on your body. What body perceptions do you feel? Try to get away from the annoyance in question, e.g. by cooling yourself down with cold water.
- Envy, rejection, loss of control and criticism, for example, can lead to emotional outbursts. Try to be aware of these feelings and to sense where anger and anger are coming from. In this way you can cushion a tantrum if necessary and come to a possible insight (e.g. actually having been offended). If appropriate, share this with your counterpart.
- Unmask your personal triggers. Everyone has different “triggers” that make them angry. If you know these, you won't fall into the trap anytime soon.
- Tantrums usually have a strong effect on the person opposite you (e.g. anger, fear, etc.). Try to empathize with others. How about the opposite for you?
- Ask yourself, “How would I see the nuisance in a year? Would I still get angry to this extent? ”This allows you to distance yourself from the triggering event and gain new perspectives.
Tips for trouble
- Use words to express your negative feelings over and over again when the situation seems appropriate. For example: “I'm angry right now because…” or “I disagree because…” You may not be used to it at first. However, some of them may be pleasantly surprised by you or understand you better.
- If you get caught in a spiral of brooding, try to break it. If you keep chewing through the anger and anger yourself, it increases the stress level. Mentally give yourself a stop sign and try to distract yourself in other ways or express your feelings (e.g. through a conversation, taking notes).
- Sometimes it takes time to get angry. Before that, other feelings often come to the fore, e.g. sadness, excessive understanding of others, relativizing (downplaying) situations, etc. Feel over and over again whether you are not at least a little angry at times.
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