Why do people call empaths unsuspecting narcissists
Why are people more likely to believe narcissists than their victims?
Maybe you have been in this position before ...
You get to see who the narcissist really is, but since the narcissist has helpers who work for him, do his dirty work for him, and make sure no one sees that the emperor is actually not wearing clothes, it's a dilemma for anyone who has tried to navigate the sinister machinations of a world designed to serve these manipulators.Also read:
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The chameleon-like narcissist shows the public many faces, each more hypocritical than the other. They easily fit into any social group they belong to.
There is a catch, though: there is usually a target that they shoot themselves at, usually because they have the perceived qualities of empathy, compassion, and integrity, as well as coveted resources.
Narcissists are pathologically jealous of anyone who dares to trump them or steal the spotlight: whoever poses a threat must be wiped out.
Their light needs to be dimmed in the only stealthy way the narcissist knows how to use.
Unfortunately, the target is privy to the true self behind the narcissist's mask. This is a terrifying but enlightening experience that both alienates and educates the victim.
This type of covert abuse can take place in romantic relationships, family relationships, at work, or even when dealing with the law.Also read:
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It can take place in any context in which a narcissistic person can manipulate someone else.
So how and why does the narcissist get away with this? There are various reasons that I will work out below:
The truth is, narcissists are very adept at managing impressions - that is, controlling the way others perceive them.
They appear to publicly praise their victims while privately criticizing and humiliating them.
They provoke their victims to emotional reactions - and use these reactions to the abuse to portray them as “disturbed”.
In this way, they isolate their fellow human beings and at the same time secretly abuse them behind closed doors - all while making their victims stand out as perpetrators in the eyes of the law, on social networks and in society at large.
Additionally, narcissists know how to build an excellent reputation.Also read:
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They give precedence to those who have more power than they do (at least for the moment to find out how to manipulate them), but they also secretly hunt down the seemingly powerless.
They appear responsible about others' feelings and ideas when in reality they are collecting data on who is important to their agenda and who needs to be overthrown in order to take the throne.
They collect information to see what weak points they can exploit and even what strengths they can use against a victim to make their victim feel as powerless as possible.
Emotional predators are constantly reevaluating who is useful to them and who is a threat.
Those who pose a threat to the narcissist (be it because of their talents, level of education, competence, success, appearance, or numerous other qualities) are first exposed to idealistic admiration before being devalued.Also read:
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A tall, stately pedestal is being built for the victims - just so that it can ultimately be torn down.
The narcissist has to fabricate this cycle in order to derive his sense of power from it.
Being able to keep the lives of their victims out of balance and never letting them know what place they have in the narcissist's life is essential for them to be able to inflict the maximum amount of pain.
The chosen victims go through a cycle of idealization and devaluation and are triangulated with other harem members and pitted against each other until they are thrown away for having named the narcissist's crimes.
Those who are useful to the narcissist are kept in a constant phase of idealization until the time comes for them too to be knocked off the pedestal.
In the narcissistic labyrinth of lies and mind games nobody really “wins” except the victims who leave it behind.Also read:
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The halo effect
Narcissists usually have some ability that equips them to be trusted.
Whether that's their charm, appearance, intellect, or social acumen, there is usually a personality trait or group of attributes that give their presence a very intriguing shade.
In psychology we call this phenomenon the "halo effect" - the human tendency to recognize a positive trait (example: He looks so good!) And to generalize that this trait also affects the rest of a character or personality applies overall (he must also be intelligent and friendly!)
Since these guys spend their entire lives constructing a very appealing fake image, they initially appear warm, caring, and engaging as they ensnare their prey.
They found fan clubs and harems of empathic (and also more toxic) people who invoke their character, their supposed trustworthiness and their non-existent integrity.Also read:
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Usually these people are carefully selected to make sure that these are the very people who haven't looked behind the mask (or, if they have, are willing to ignore the warning signs).
These helpers who focus on the "Narcissist's Halo" Underlining and maintaining exist on a spectrum - from the unsuspecting "friend" to the toxic co-con artist.
Their willingness to ignore obvious evidence of the narcissist's transgressions, as well as their ability to rationalize, minimize, and deny questionable behavior make them valuable henchmen to the narcissist who will use them for character assessments in his favor.
If the narcissist is ever in danger of being exposed, these hand camps inevitably stand up for him to defend their leader, no matter what, and claim that the problem must be the victims, the "troublemakers" that cause chaos for no reason.Also read:
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“Peter is such a good person! He would never do something like that! ", They claim, or:" I don't understand why you attack Jennifer like that.
She has never done anything like this to me! " It doesn't matter that the victims have likely been exposed to long-term psychological attacks from these “good” people who these henchmen are now defending.
Our inability to confront the unscrupulous
Part of a healthy conscience is confronting the unscrupulous. Unfortunately, our society is ill-equipped to deal with the danger of malignant narcissists in our midst. Why?
Because when someone is rude to us, abuses us, or treats us badly in any way, we fall into the trap of projecting our own ideas of morality, conscience and empathy onto them.
We rationalize that it was probably a "misunderstanding".
We minimize the damage that has been done thinking that our rights are less important than those of the aggressor (after all, the aggressor trained and conditioned us to believe that).Also read:
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We become victims of the need for social validation and recognition. We see social "evidence" that this person is popular; so it must be because she is a good person.
Why are human beings bound by a conscience so blind?
And why are they so hesitant to defend themselves and the ideals and people who mean something to them from the minority of people who have no conscience at all?
Much of the answer has to do with the feelings and thought processes that go on within us when we are faced with sociopathy. We are afraid and our sense of reality suffers.
We think that we are just making it up or overdoing it, or that we are in some way responsible for the sociopath's behavior.
Instead of facing the frightening truth that there are people without empathy or remorse, we ignore our gut instincts and deceive ourselves.Also read:
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We forget that our inner counsel is often precisely right, that we may “see” something that others refuse to see.
If the emperor is naked, we may be the only ones brave enough to point it out - but that doesn't mean we're wrong just because we're in the minority.
It makes us the more discerning people.
Instead of falling into the trap of silencing ourselves, it's important to validate our voice - and keep speaking.
Ultimately, if we speak long enough, those who also see the truth of toxicity will be able to hear each other in the distance.
This is how revolutions begin.
Survivors of these toxic types and advocates for the battered can collectively raise their voices to spread awareness - to confront the unscrupulous and inevitably expose those in our midst who continue to operate in secret.
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