How can you stop crying
I can no longer - if nothing works anymore
"I can't go on" - a breakdown usually has a long history
The collapse comes in November 2010. Kerstin M., who works as a financial accountant and production manager in an advertising agency, clashes with her boss, as is so often the case. But unlike in the previous arguments, this time she can't stop yelling. And then don't stop crying.
"It was like I left my body, like it wasn't me. It felt like watching myself slump all over the place."
Today, almost three years later, Kerstin M., 35-year-old mother of two, has a clear view of what happened back then. She precisely reconstructs the course of the disease: "I felt very restless and strange for many months. We moved with the children from Leipzig to Dresden in 2008, where we built a house with a lot of anger and arguments. I was restless, jittery, full of energy and always dissatisfied and on the lookout. I was very unhappy with my profession as an accountant. It was not me, but my parents who had chosen it for me after I graduated from school work, offered to work part-time in production, I was happy: Finally there was the opportunity to leave the hated numbers behind me and to prove what I was really capable of. "
The company is growing, and so are the tasks
But reality looks different. The company is growing rapidly and soon Kerstin M. has to do the entire payroll and financial accounting and make monthly statements for twice as many employees in the mornings. She is also used for secretarial tasks. At lunchtime she takes care of her new tasks as a producer. She works on important customer projects, collects offers, drives to print shops, creates concepts and presentations, organizes events and visits trade fairs for the company across Germany. She also designed the company terrace.
Soul, health and environment suffer
Kerstin M. gets chronic headaches and sleeps less and less through the night. The thought of forgetting something important at work keeps them awake. She is irritable towards her family. Because she screams so often, her children are scared of her and their marriage is on the verge of collapse. More and more often she is dizzy now, in her left ear she has recently started hearing difficult. Palpitations, loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating - when the collapse came on November 30, 2010, Kerstin M. was at the end of her physical and mental strength. Only in retrospect does she realize how stressful the time was for her: "I was deaf to my soul. I blocked out the clear signals my body sent me. Instead, I was always very friendly and happy, and was considered a jack-of-all-trades and 'Everybodies Darling'. I was crazy dressed and always on the lookout for the ahhh and ohhh of my colleagues. How exhausting it is with a half-finished house, two young children, a legal battle at the cheek and a man who averages six days working the week, I didn't want to and couldn't admit it back then. "
Antidepressants and weekly appointment with a psychologist
Kerstin M. is lucky. Her mother can arrange an appointment for her with a psychologist friend, who will work with her once a week for the following year. On the same day, a neurologist prescribes antidepressants and refers her to a psychiatric day clinic for several weeks. In many therapy hours, Kerstin M. worked out the goal of working towards a career change. It has become clear to her that she cannot make peace with the profession of financial accountant her parents have chosen for her. With the support of her therapists and psychiatrists, Kerstin M. applies to the pension insurance company for vocational rehabilitation. She gets the feedback relatively quickly that a decision on the application will not be made until she is undergoing medical rehabilitation. You will receive the Dr. Becker Burg-Klinik in Stadtlengsfeld, where Kerstin M. will start her rehabilitation in January 2012.
Medical vs. professional rehab
Looking back on her six-week stay at the Burg Clinic, she says today that it was the best that could have happened to her. In contrast to occupational rehab, which relies on purely job-related training or retraining measures in order to secure earning capacity, medical rehab focuses on the treatment of the disease on which the impending reduced earning capacity is based, in the case of Kerstin M. Angst in connection with depression. She takes part in the anxiety disorder group and is fortunate enough to get in touch with a very committed and emphatic senior doctor who uses hypnotherapy to give her a feeling for her own strengths again. She takes courage and regains self-confidence.
Get away from all domestic worries
Kerstin M., who at first didn't want to be separated from her family, begins to see the advantages of inpatient rehab. "I was completely out of all domestic worries and everyday obligations. Embedded and protected like in a 'castle' I had time to think about myself and my life and make plans. The incredibly diverse range of therapy options gives you a plan tailored to your needs with measures. I learned more and more to let go and to go beyond my limits. The more I got involved in this adventure, the better I felt. Day after day. "
When Kerstin M. left the Dr. Becker Burg-Klinik comes home, her children tell her that they have the feeling that a new mom has come home.
The time after rehab
After the rehab, Kerstin M. puts her newly gained professional perspective into practice and submits the notice to her advertising agency. Since she quits for health reasons and on the advice of her doctors, she has no blocking period from the employment agency. She uses the vacation entitlement that her boss still has to pay her for further training in the medical field. Your application for vocational rehabilitation will be rejected by the pension insurance and the employment office. Despite letters from their doctors, which they rate as unsuitable for their profession, the opinion of the Employment Agency is different. M. is considered to be able to work full shift in her learned profession. But she doesn't let her discourage her anymore and is sticking to her goal of studying to become a naturopath for psychotherapy.
"I am grateful for the experience"
She now believes in her abilities again. M. is involved in hospice work and applies as a lateral entrant for a part-time position in care in a retirement home. In March 2013, Kerstin M. signed her employment contract and the study contract for an evening course at a non-medical practitioner school. From September 2013 she will begin training as a nurse.
Two years after her collapse, Kerstin M. feels that she is doing better than ever before. "As absurd as it may sound, I am very grateful for November 30, 2010 and the two years that followed, for the great people who crossed my path and for the many bitter experiences. If you allow it, you get a lot of help and encouragement - but the decisive factor has to come from you. "Kerstin M. learned that.
More information about the Burg Clinic.
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