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Pegging: How you tell your girlfriend that you want it

The man I took from behind for the very first time was definitely not the brightest. But one sentence from him has burned into my memory: When he swore that he would always be penetrated from now on, he described the whole thing as "like switching from the PlayStation 1 to the PlayStation 4". I still use it to explain to men why they should let me penetrate them. In addition, the role reversal and the associated shift in power give me more pleasure than anything else.

When I talk to women about their preference for pegging - that's what it is called when the woman penetrates the man with a strap-on - I keep talking about how good it feels to dominate your partner. And the answers are similar for the men: "It's really liberating for me to completely hand over control to my partner," says 33-year-old Ben. "Getting down on all fours and getting your brain shagged feels so good."

Apart from the changed relationship dynamics, there is also another reason why men want to be banged in the ass: The prostate, which is located directly on the intestine, is practically the male G-spot. When stimulated, a much more intense orgasm can be triggered - something the average cis man has probably never experienced before.

But no matter why you want to try pegging, the first conversation with your partner about it will certainly take a lot of effort. That's why we have collected a few tips for all curious men.

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Don't fall in with the door

If your girlfriend has never touched your ass, rimmed you, or asked for a strap-on, you shouldn't start your conversation about pegging with the phrase, "Now, finally, fuck me." Just like anything else related to your anus, you should take it slowly. And don't be surprised if your partner doesn't even know what pegging is.

First of all, think about why you want to be taken from behind in the first place. You can then start the conversation elegantly. A seductive explanation can work wonders and make it easier for your girlfriend to get into the dominant role. The 27-year-old Alg tells me what would convince her to mount her partner: "The topic should be addressed with tempting questions, for example 'What fantasies do you have?', 'Do you like anal sex?' or 'Is there something that you've always wanted to try?'. "

"Just be open and honest," says 25-year-old Caoili. "And if your partner is really turned off, then you are with the wrong person. Or you sleep with the wrong person."

The tool must always be ready

Do you think fishing for a condom in the dark is an absolute mood killer? Then imagine what it is like to get your girlfriend really excited about pegging, only to then say that you have to get all the utensils first.

28-year-old Kelsey's sexiest fantasy was being handed a strap-on and asking her to really get started. Her fantasy finally came true during a threesome: "The other woman asked me if I wanted to bang the guy and held out the strap-on. During that time he was already in position. Because it was all so spontaneous, it made me especially special turned on, "she says. When Kelsey tried pegging with another man, he was interested, but she had to buy a strap-on dildo first. That's why she felt the whole thing as "somehow weird, sober and not really awesome".

But if it's not your thing to be able to unpack a wide range of sex toys at any time, then just go to the sex shop with your partner. "I think it would be really sexy if someone asked me while shopping for sex toys whether I feel like pegging," says Alg. "

Show interest in anal play by asking for finger penetration or a rim job before moving on to pegging. The sex therapist Gillian Myhill suggests addressing the strap-on through dirty talk, for example: "If she explores your anus with her finger and massages the prostate, then whisper in her ear how something bigger in your bottom would be even more fun for you . " I don't know about other women, but the idea makes me feel pretty pissed off.

All of the women I talk to about pegging say it's a massive turn-on not only for them, but for their partners as well. So if you're being taken from behind, never forget that this is about your partner as well. She lets her dominant side run wild, so be as submissive as you always wanted to be.

"Unfortunately, because of the stigma, not so many men embark on the adventure of anal," says Myhill. "They question their sexuality, they are embarrassed when they are not so clean down there, they are ashamed." Such questions and worries are unfortunately the reason why such an article with tips for talking about pegging is needed in the first place. But if you express your wish with a lot of self-confidence and include your partner in the description of your fantasy, then there should be nothing against trying the whole thing.

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