Should I waste time studying international relations?

students life: Love or resume?

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Julian Beitzel is a member of the StudiVZ group "I am convinced single - until I find someone!", He is 24 years old, has a gentle face and pits when laughing. His last relationship failed because of the question of which is more important, his girlfriend or his professors. He was a student in Lüneburg, she was a student in Saxony. There was too little time, too little money for visits and hours of phone calls that were nice, but not nice enough to fill you up. The two had met through a chat on the Internet. They briefly considered moving to the same city when Julian started his master’s degree and they started their training. Then she pushed around on the phone that everything was so difficult, she wanted to think again. She was no longer available for further discussions, she simply didn't answer. "That was unpleasant. It could have worked if only the distance hadn't existed," says Julian.

Of course you can say that Julian himself is to blame for the breakup. Couldn't he have gone to Saxony to study, even if he liked the university in Lüneburg better? But Julian would be wronged if he were accused of heartlessness. He definitely wants a relationship, including children. But he does not want to hastily leave the university he is familiar with. When asked about an online dating site, around 70 percent of students said that a happy relationship was one of the most important things in life for them. At the same time they gave in a survey by the women's magazine Brigitte Around 65 percent of young women think they would move for the job - the willingness is probably similar among men, and the contradiction between these surveys can be summed up in one sentence: Relationship and career are both the most important things in life. As if students were answering the question "love or resume?" simply answer with a "yes". They want everything, preferably at the same time, and because they do not decide on one thing, in the end many have little, sometimes too little: too little happiness in love, too little fulfillment at work.

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"If it hadn't been for the distance ..."

Julian Beitzel says he doesn't even know when he would have time for a girlfriend. For his medical informatics studies he is working on the construction of a brain model in Munich. He goes running three times a week, in between he practices aikido, plays the cajón and tends to his bonsai couple "Fiona" and "Jacques". Most of Julian's friends do not live in Munich, he keeps in touch with them via StudiVZ and on the phone. Julian's last relationship broke because of the distance. At that time he lived in Lüneburg, she lived in Saxony.

If you talk to Rebecca Tschöke, 30, and Phillip Meyhöfer, 31, the suspicion increases that the misfortune is mainly due to the indecision. That whoever wants to reconcile love and a life story will fail because of the contradiction between the two.

Rebecca and Phillip made a clear decision: for love. "Our children and love come first," says the couple from Berlin-Kreuzberg, happiness is more important than a polished résumé. This happiness approaches quietly, in the morning when the two are still asleep. The door opens cautiously. Four children's feet pound into the room. Shortly afterwards, four-year-old Tjark and his two-year-old brother Luk snuggle up in bed with their parents.

Rebecca is studying fashion design in her first semester, Phillip is currently doing his master's degree, and he wants to teach art in elementary school. If one of the sons is sick and can't go to the children's shop, mom or dad won't go to the seminar. Rebecca and Phillip chose parental love rather than a quick graduation, and the moral of their story seems to be that giving up one is more happiness than greed for everything.

On the other hand, if everyone followed the example of Rebecca and Phillip, there would be no more semesters abroad, no internships in other cities, no freedom to just try things out. Not everyone is willing to cut back on their education for a relationship that you may not even know if it will last a lifetime. And not every student can take such a clear position so early on. Studying is a time of searching - for the right partner, your own path. And perhaps there has never been a generation of students in which the demands of their education were so clearly at odds with their need for a stable love affair.

According to figures from the University Information System (HIS), one third of the students live abroad for a while during their studies, and mobility is also high within Germany. According to the International Center for University Research (Incher), around 60 percent move to another region to study after graduating from high school, and the same number later after graduating to start their careers. Students spend real years of wandering, and whoever reads Maximiliane's résumé will notice the stress that this means. After graduating from high school, she did an internship in China for a few months, then she moved from Bayreuth to Cologne to study. From there it went to Zhuhai. As often as she can, she visits her friend Roel in Utrecht and her parents in Bavaria. On the weekends she meets friends in Munich and Leipzig.