How should you not live your life
Learning to accept: 10 tips for more satisfaction
Simply accepting something and accepting it, even if we don't like it, is very difficult. But it is also an important step towards a satisfied life. Because there are things that we cannot change. We give you tips and exercises with which you can learn acceptance.
Why acceptance is important
Why acceptance is important
In life we keep encountering situations, people or problems that do not correspond to our ideas and which may also cause us suffering. Acceptance means taking this as a given first. It has nothing to do with giving up or losing, on the contrary: As long as you are fighting something that you cannot change, you are wasting time and energy that you urgently need elsewhere. To accept something, on the other hand, means: You save yourself many negative feelings such as despair, helplessness, fear or anger. You can now use the energy that you save to find solutions and improve your situation. Learning to accept also means taking control of your own life more strongly again.
8 Basic Facts You Should Accept Now
Acceptance makes it easier - including parting
Yeah it's tough. But there are some things that simply cannot be changed, no matter how much we would like to do something about it. This includes the following eight facts:
1. Everything living dies. You yourself will eventually die, as will your friends and family members. Accepting that is difficult, but necessary. Because only with the clear knowledge of this fact can you fully enjoy your life and prepare yourself as well as possible for what is to come someday.
2. Absolute security is not possible. There are many risks in your life that you can reduce. Even so, there are still many dangers left. Bad things can happen to you, and nowhere near all can you prevent them. This realization can be frightening, but also relieving. Because it means that you are not responsible for controlling everything.
3. The past can no longer be changed. Most people carry past burdens with them. And many barely manage to break away from these memories and come to terms with the past. Acceptance is the way to more happiness in life. What happened has happened once. But you have the opportunity to do better from today and to use your experiences.
4. People are different. They have different values, principles, ideas, beliefs, feelings, experiences, and goals. Many people are very different from you, also in areas that are important to you. That's the way it is.
5. The world is not fair. Most movies and books end up rewarding the good and punishing the bad. That's because we wish reality would work the same way. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Bad things can happen to even the best, most honest, sincere, courageous people. And often enough, terrible people get away with what they do. The world is not fair. Only if you accept this fundamental fact will you be able to stand up for justice in individual cases and fight for it.
Other people will judge you
6. Other people will judge you. It would be very nice if we all respect and support each other. The fact is, however: There will always be people who judge you, your actions and your values, often wrongly. It is a high art not to let such small-minded judgments throw you off course. And that succeeds - you already guessed it - if you accept that you can't please everyone.
7. Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are part of it, both small and large. You yourself have already made mistakes and will make more. Only when you accept this fact will you be able to learn from your mistakes and face the consequences of your decisions.
8. Your circumstances are what they are. Origin, gender, health, financial situation, family, ... Many people constantly struggle with their circumstances and hardly notice that they are just treading on the spot. It is quite possible that your starting conditions are worse than those of others. However, if you always lament the circumstances, you will never be able to move forward. Accepting your situation is the first step in making the most of your options.
10 tips for more acceptance
10 tips for more acceptance
Probably reading the last section worried you, maybe pulled you down or depressed you. That's normal, after all, we touched on tough issues there. Nevertheless (or perhaps because of it) it is worthwhile to deal with it. We'll tell you how to do it. Here are the top ten tips to help you learn to accept:
Think about things that are difficult to accept
Thinking is an important step in accepting. Allow difficult topics to approach you and keep paying attention to them. You will find that this will gradually make them lighter. However, do not let the topics dominate you: You decide when you think about it and when it is enough again.
Your emotions are your guide
If you get angry, feel desperate, or become afraid, it's a good idea to take a closer look. Where do these emotions come from? Often there is a topic behind it that you cannot change, but also cannot yet accept. You can then take a closer look at that.
Focus on what you can change
Acceptance does not mean passivity, on the contrary: Concentrate on the areas of life in which you can make a difference. You will find out how many there are and how good it is to really make a difference.
A relaxed attitude can be practiced, even on a small scale. Always make it clear to yourself that there is no point in getting upset if the situation cannot be changed. Make a conscious choice to stay calm. How to learn serenity is here.
Stay in the moment
If you keep pondering about the past or worrying about the future, this little exercise can help you: Take a few deep breaths and say to yourself: "I am in the here and now, only this moment counts." Then you direct your attention on what you can perceive right now. What do you see, hear, smell, taste and feel? This is the moment, the here and now.
Complete past topics
Complete past topics
Take an hour to make yourself comfortable with writing materials and a cup of tea. Collect the topics and situations from your past that still cling to you and occupy you. Then look at each situation individually and think about what else you can or need to do to resolve it. Often there will be no more possibility or nothing will be necessary anymore. In other cases, you can, for example, seek a clarifying conversation if that makes sense to you.
Make concrete action plans for how you want to proceed. And then conclude the topics one at a time. Situations in which you cannot change anything come first. Write them down individually on a small piece of paper and think about what you can still learn from the respective situation. Thank you for this insight, and then burn or tear the piece of paper and let the subject go. Once you've completed another topic, do the same with it. For some topics you will surely have to repeat the exercise a few more times, but gradually you can close such difficult situations.
Speak things clearly
When we don't want to accept something, we often refuse to even look at it or even name it. Use the power of your words to look. Say clearly what the situation is like:
- "Yes, I took the wrong turn and am now stuck in a traffic jam on the wrong motorway."
- "Yes, I got a diagnosis that scares me."
- "Yeah, I think my relationship is going down the drain."
- "Yes, my dream failed at this point."
By clearly naming a topic, you get it out of repression and create the opportunity to accept it and then find solutions instead of despair.
Be lenient with yourself
Allow yourself to grieve, to be angry, to make mistakes, not to get everything done, to find some things difficult to accept. This is also a form of acceptance: to let yourself be the way you are.
The more precisely you know how much good you have in your life, the easier it will be for you to accept the bad. So practice being grateful, for example with this little exercise: Every evening before you go to bed, write down three things that made you happy today, that were particularly beautiful or that you are grateful for. Maybe the same topics come up over and over again, but that doesn't matter. It just shows that you have very valuable things in your life. Gratitude makes you a little happier every day and helps you get through crises better.
Use the energy that is released
When you find that you can accept a topic, you will also notice how new energy is released. Fear, anger and resistance bind many forces that you can use elsewhere. When you realize that you have strength left, enjoy this knowledge and consciously apply it to a point that is good for you.
Make it clear to yourself that learning to accept does not mean failure. On the contrary: it means reducing suffering, taking responsibility for your life and putting your strength into the things that you can really change.[wp ratings]
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