Does seething anger really affect a relationship

How you can reduce anger and anger quickly and stress-free

Here you will learn:

1. how to better deal with your aggression

2. how to avoid stress

3. how to reduce your aggressions more and more

4. What methods are used to make it work quickly and correctly

Reducing aggression doesn't always mean suppressing it. 

The better option would be to act out anger and aggression in a controlled manner. Both can be a path and lead to the goal, but everyone has to find their own way to deal with it.

Everyone has their dark sides and that includes aggressions. It is important to bring them out and accept them.

Then they can be lived out in an agreeable way.

Aggression is part of life and our existence and is basically not a bad thing. However, if the aggression is directed against other people or things and hurts or destroys, then there is a serious problem. Each of us has to do with aggression and anger, some more than the other.


The extent to which a person can deal with aggression is also influenced by their upbringing. Each person learns certain strategies for dealing with it in their upbringing.


Reduce aggression so that pent-up anger doesn't get completely out of control one day

The term aggression comes from Latin and means “to attack” or “to approach” in German. Aggressive behavior patterns occur not only in humans, but also in animals. The environment mostly acts as a stimulus-generating factor, which can increase or inhibit aggression. Emotions play a major role in this. Defeating aggression means channeling unfavorable behavior patterns into other channels in order to avoid escalations. For example, aggression can be reduced through sport.

Increased willingness to be aggressive

The circumstances and diseases listed below may lead to abnormal irritability, which makes it necessary to reduce aggression and anger:

  • relationship problems
  • Difficulties in the workplace
  • High blood pressure and racing heart
  • Anxiety disorders
  • Alcohol addiction
  • ADHD
  • depressions
  • Overload (burnout)
  • Hormonal changes, e.g. B. during puberty or menopause

Is the cause of a highWillingness to be aggressive in an illness well-founded, a medical diagnosis is recommended so that treatment can be initiated. If environmental stimuli or impulses from the social environment are the main triggers for anger and anger, a psychotherapist can help. He researches affective reaction patterns and gives tips on how to cope with aggression.

In addition, anyone who increasingly perceives aggression canTake initiative and take measures to reduce aggression. Because adolescents are more prone to outbursts of anger, reducing aggression in children is becoming increasingly important.

The flowing transitions of aggression

A negative impulse, which is a disturbing factor, creates a reaction. Usually it is anger that rises up. Even when the outrage grows to such an extent that anger develops, there is still a goal in mind.

However, if the emotions turn into anger, the destructive aspect of aggression begins, because an objective view of things is no longer possible. Reducing excessive anger would lead to a factual examination of the problem. Ultimately, hatred is at the top of the list of levels of aggression. In principle it is only about the destruction of the obstacle standing in the way.

Hatred and the desire for revenge can go so far that injuries to one's own body or even one's own death are accepted. From this perspective, defeating aggression represents self-protection.

Tip: Cope with aggression through exercise

If you want to do something good for your body and mind, do some exercise. Those who are often angry emit a lot of adrenaline, which is not necessarily depleted. Through regular exercise, the body breaks down adrenaline and at the same time prevents diseases that arise from high adrenaline levels.

What is aggression?

If you want to cope with your irrepressible anger and the resulting aggression, you should first deal with the causes that lead to the outbursts of anger. There are always two triggering factors behind aggressive behavior:

A) frustration

B) stress

External stimuli act on a person and create a response. Depending on the type, the person concerned either flies or attacks. A fearful person will certainly want to escape the unpleasant situation as quickly as possible, while the fighter lets himself into a confrontation that can be verbal as well as physical. The active action ensures an immediate reduction in aggression.

In earlier times there was no problem coping with aggression, because aggression was usually acted out immediately. In the past, spontaneous reduction of aggression was even essential for survival. If a wild animal appeared, all that remained was to flee or fight with the beast. In our modern society, defensive actions like hitting or screaming are not considered good form.

After a nuisance, it is not possible to leave the workplace without permission. What remains is suppressed aggression, which continues to simmer in the subconscious. These energies need a drain valve, otherwise the boiler will boil over at some point.

The different forms of aggression

 Expressive physical aggression in the form of violent behavior usually targets the person who caused the anger. Is the perpetrator of the aggression invulnerable, because z. B. is a respected personality, is under


Chosen a substitute target. These can be weaker people or objects. The diverted anger may affect cars or public facilities.

Comes under verbal aggressionloud screaming and scolding. Covert aggression intends to deviously harm the perpetrator.Bullying and intrigue belong to this category. The inward-facing aggression is directed at oneself, as can be the case with depression, drug abuse, cracks or even suicide.

Tips to manage aggression

1. Chronic overload often results in a high potential for aggression. In this case, defeating aggression can only succeed if the stress is reduced first.

2. Reduce aggression with sport frees you from internal pressure and enables a life without uncontrolled anger escalations.

3. Therapists often advise getting out of the constellation that provokes an outbreak of aggression. In most cases, just leaving the room is enough.

4. If one's own needs are scaled back a little, aggression can be defeated, at least partially.

5. Special techniques that reduce aggression lead to relaxation. Inhaling and exhaling deeply and intensely has proven its worth during a crisis situation. Anti-aggression courses offer additional methods of anger management.

6. The saying “Practice makes perfect” also applies to reducing anger and managing aggression. Learning prosocial behavior requires an ongoing exercise program. Possible setbacks are normal and shouldn't reduce motivation.

7. Reducing aggression with a punching bag is already practiced by many people. The pent-up anger is reduced considerably while you hit the training device. If necessary, a pillow that is hit is sufficient.


Reduce aggression in children

Aunnatural overstimulation is certainly one of the co-triggers for aggressive behavior in children. Scientists also found that the willingness to aggression by appropriategenetic influences grow. If there are already noticeable traits in the parental home, the offspring will most likely adopt similar behaviors.

aggressionsreduce through play is particularly suitable for children and young people. Educators and teachers who want to overcome aggression in their protégés therefore rely on role-play and sport. In a child-friendly way, anger is directed in a different direction and socially acceptable coexistence is trained.

People with a high potential for aggression quickly become outsiders in society.With the help of these ingenious tips, you will be better able to cope with aggression and anger.

Suppress anger and aggression

When the fuses blow with anger and rage, your own voice habitually increases dramatically in volume.

Screaming liberated …

... that's why a loud voice often appears as a relief reaction to adverse circumstances. Such behavior falls under verbal aggression. The negative emotions make their way out into the open with roars.

The beneficial effect can be felt immediately. However, if the feelings are thwarted by the lack of a spontaneous response, an unconscious repression process sets in instead. Over time, perception moves into a state of forgetting without stress processing.

If the suppressed aggressions get out of hand, it will eventually lead to a catastrophe. If not during the relevant situation, the repressed anger should be reduced at least after a period of time.

Free yourself with screams

In the forest there is an excellent opportunity to literally roar your soul out of your body. On the first try, only a tentative tone is likely to emerge. The fear that someone is nearby and might be listening only allows a barely audible croak. But with each attempt, the voice gains strength until the screams rush out unhindered.

The pent-up aggression is finally allowed to surface again. For some people, tears bring urgently needed relief, which is why screaming can also be combined with howling if necessary.

Instead of a forest, a place under a railway bridge is also an option for a noisy reduction of aggression. As soon as the train rolls in, the screams are drowned out in the noise of the train wheels. Incidentally, loud singing has a similar anti-aggression effect. It is best to turn on the radio or CD player and sing along loudly.

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Here you can find out more about my seminar on the subjectSolve anger and anger with nonviolent communication.

Click here for the seminar Don't get angry!

Best regards

Uwe Trevisan