How do INFJs get over a relationship
What to do when you've been treated unfairly.
The awareness of justice is deeply anchored in every person:
You get what you deserve, a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye, like you give me, so I give you, karma is a bitch, punishment must be.
The consequences of this awareness are much more serious than you think, and range from years of disputes within the closest family circle (“After my cousin insulted me so much 8 years ago at our wedding, I don't speak to her anymore, I don't congratulate her on her later one Wedding, whereupon she does not congratulate me on my birth, whereupon I do not congratulate her on her child, etc. ") to centuries-long, bloody wars (Middle East conflict in brief: they throw a bomb, then we kill 10 of them, then they kill 15 of us, then we have to kill 8 of them again, etc., because it's fair!)
So that not all of them bang their heads in the exuberance of their emotions, there are laws and rules by which we socially orient ourselves.
And it has to be like that, because otherwise Sodom and Gomorrah are known.
However, in everyday life there are always countless situations that are not necessarily illegal or unconstitutional and thus directly punishable, but are still incredibly unjust.
Or they are obviously criminals, but there is no way to get justice (because the asshole who caused it got away with it somehow. For example.)
If something violates this justice in our eyes, and the result may hit us, then we suffer a lot:
it's easy. Not. correct!
Before I really get started, I have to make it clear in advance:
you won't necessarily like the following words - especially if you are directly concerned.
What I write is challenging for your mind and your current emotional state, not necessarily mainstream, not applauding a bit and maybe some will have to get really upset afterwards.
You will think that all of this is naive, stupid, and unworldly.
But I'm not writing this to polarize, but for one simple reason:
because I love you and I don't want you to suffer.
And because things are completely different for a love ambassador anyway.
(In case you still have to be terribly angry because of my words: no thing. Everything here is voluntary, free and without obligation on your part - there are enough other beautiful blogs in the world :)).
So what can you do when you've been treated unfairly?
1. Don't be surprised.
The world is unfair.
In fairness to everyone.
Often times, situations in which you are treated unfairly by others will happen.
Each of us.
(Ex) partners, superiors, colleagues, friends, business partners, parents or children - they will all do or say things that are so incredibly unfair and mean that you can hardly believe it.
Therefore, don't be completely horrified, devastated, stunned every time and “why ONLY ME something like this always happens to me?” And “How did I deserve it?” Or even “What have I done wrong again?”.
You didn't necessarily do something wrong, you didn't “deserve” it, and it doesn't just happen to you.
The world is bad, the devil is bad, deal with it.
Absolutely all of us have experienced injustice or will experience it again and again:
So if you don't see it as the end of the world or as a disaster, you stay calmer and can make clear decisions.
Your feelings will scream out loud and your mind will be overwhelmed with arguments so great that any political speech against it will seem like a DM haul on YouTube.
How could he, and how mean is that, please, and how unfairly I was treated, and I meant it well, and how could he (some sentences are then repeated, notice? Doesn't get you any further, but It doesn't matter: your mind will just go round and round. Occupational therapy at its best.)
We're making a deal now, just you and me:
you cry and scold ("how could he, and how mean is that please?", sample sentences see above) and moan in my arms (unfortunately only virtually, because how am I supposed to accommodate you all on my sofa? The loft is large , but not THAT big either.) for half a day.
Jil says you can only cry for a day because you are lovesick, and that's definitely one of the worst energies ever, so the half day offer is only fair I think.
Should I tell you something?
I understand you.
I really have absolutely every understanding for the anger and the frustration and the tears and the suffering and do not judge you a bit for it.
I can understand the feelings and know that it can be really bad and I am not at all annoyed or sit next to it, rolling my eyes.
I feel ya.
Half a day, okay?
When you're done after that, we'll get up and do the following:
We make a decision.
(O.k., actually YOU meet her, but you just have my love by your side, so you are not completely lost and alone.)
And then we mobilize all the energy that is available to you and direct it towards the new beginning.
And that will be good, I guarantee you!
But everything step by step, first of all something important:
2. If it is criminal, then take legal action.
If things actually happened that are punishable by law, then I would take legal action - you don't have to put up with everything.
Thank God we live in a state governed by the rule of law and jurisdiction is at our disposal: get advice from experts, and then act accordingly.
you will unfortunately be mentally involved in this matter again.
And where thoughts, there feelings - and not positive ones, because that's exactly why all the suffering happened.
Not pretty, but close your eyes and through.
You can do it.
Even if you are judged to be right, think twice:
do you want to live in this house afterwards / work in this company / have contact with this person?
Or will the atmosphere be so bad because of the court decision that it would be hell for everyone involved, including yourself?
Only you know that, and depending on the situation, you decide - maybe it is wiser not to claim your rights?
Sometimes you will not get a law, because the case law is sometimes a little complicated and is decided at the discretion of the judge, which means in plain language:
he who is right does not always get right.
you may not succeed and that will be very frustrating, sorry I am!
But you will overcome all of that, too ...
3. Your case is different.
You have to listen carefully to me now (maybe VERY well, because your mind whines so loudly with its always the same slogans, and the circumstance convincingly substantiates its argument, and I don't want to yell against it)
Your case is different.
For a love ambassador, such situations are completely different.
We live on the same planet as everyone else, but in a completely different world - for us, the following applies:
Nobody can harm you.
TO YOU. CAN. NONE. DAMAGE.
I know exactly how naive and almost insane that reads for your mind at the moment, when all ‘the bad has happened to you, but it's still true:
no one can harm you.
It may look and feel like this, and all circumstances testify exactly the opposite at the moment, but I stick to it:
No one can harm an ambassador of love.
Because no matter how outrageous the injustice may be, and how evil, mean and devious the intentions of others - if you rely on love, you will only be more beautiful, stronger and more radiant afterwards than ever before.
Everything will be great with you.
Everything, everything, everything.
"But Joanna, I've already experienced it differently!"
I know, but it doesn't matter.
Now is another time, another life, another love.
Now I am here and tell you:
Forget ‘everything that you have ever experienced injustice - then you didn't know me either, and you have no idea that your case is different if you trust love.
You can of course continue to believe that you have been harmed (that's not difficult at all, because the circumstances have a 1A conviction potential at the start!) - but then everything will be very, very exhausting and frustrating.
For weeks, months, maybe even years.
You will spend a lot of time, energy and possibly money on getting justice - isn't it much, much nicer to invest your time, energy, money in something new, big, strong, inspiring?
you trust me and i'll show you another way.
A path that goes far beyond all this fighting and strife and despair and pitying yourself.
4. Keep your dignity.
The following applies to a love ambassador:
No matter how unfair the situation was:
We never run after someone who doesn't want us, who obviously rejects us, or who treats us badly in general.
We don't appeal to anyone who doesn't respect us, we don't “self-acquire” and we're not afraid that we will miss out or miss out on something important.
EVEN IF IT FIRST LOOKS LIKE THAT.
You know, do not you, Trust the timing.
"Oh man, Joanna, unfortunately I didn't make it and ran after this man - and now I feel bad."
It doesn't matter, then from now on not anymore.
Nobody needs your feelings of guilt right now, I'll write about them next week (#justkidding), until then you'll put them away completely and focus on point 4 again, okay?
5. Trust that everything will work out to your advantage.
Whoever relies on love is NEVER the ass.
And the way there is not through retribution - as much as you may wish for it right now.
The way there leads only and exclusively through trust in love.
“But Joanna, how is that supposed to work? For me everything is in ruins right now! "
I dont know.
I know one thing for that:
Love has means, ways and possibilities that in your current situation you don't even have the faintest idea - everything is perfectly prepared for you.
All of this is already in the starting blocks and will literally fall to you.
While you're still crying and feeling sorry for yourself and quarreling with you (because "how could he ..."), everything is already rolled out like a red carpet on which everything is at your feet, and is just waiting for you!
People, assignments, opportunities, ideas, experiences, opportunities, adventures: everything is perfectly prepared for you.
Do you see: this is how I live.
I deeply trust that absolutely any area of my life, regardless of external circumstances that scream out loud, will reflect the beauty, grandeur, and excellence of love so extremely that it will be too late.
And that's exactly what I always experience.
6. Don't get your hands dirty.
I admit it:
The temptation to get yourself right is great.
You could just manipulate a bit yourself, or trick behind the scenes?
You could call here and talk to him, and maybe the other could put in a good word, and then everything will work out to your advantage?
Or you display certain behaviors in order to achieve something, because: if others have "succeeded" with it, can I become an asshole?
You could come up with strategies and use some tricks so that everything afterwards ...
You're too noble for shit like that.
You know what?
Always noble, always pure of heart, always sincere, always in such a way that you can look yourself in the eye - that is you.
Such is love.
You don't have to fight for your rights.
You don't need to restore your reputation and prove to everyone everywhere how great you are.
You let it go and watch love take care of everything for you.
And that does it;).
Crazy but true.
“But Joanna, what happened wasn't an accident - this person had evil intent! He wanted to harm me deliberately! "
I understand, but that's not an argument for me.
As if God were weaker than the devil, love weaker than hate, truth weaker than lie!
The devil is ALWAYS bad, that is in the nature of things - but love is ALWAYS stronger, that is also in the nature of things!
Just stay in love
May your tears still flow, your voice still tremble, and your emotions still ride a carousel (they are already calming down, don't worry):
you trust love
Everything will change to your advantage.
7. Forget retribution.
"Like you to me, so I to you" does NOT apply to a love ambassador.
Sentences like “Karma is a bitch” and “That serves him right” can now be deleted from your vocabulary and your brain forever.
Our life is never a tooth for a tooth, for us revenge is not sweet but bitter.
And unacceptable on top of that.
Any kind of schadenfreude and satisfaction, however satisfying they may be for the moment, is small, lousy, ugly and does not suit us.
Even if the others had "deserved" it so much - you are not in this world to judge, but to love.
So if you discover such thoughts and feelings in yourself (and THAT they will be offered is absolutely guaranteed. There are plenty of offers!), Then you refuse.
You just refuse.
You are too big for that.
In love it is like this:
you leave all the unjust stuff to her and instead focus all of your energy on something creative, successful, and beautiful.
You take a deep breath, shake your hair, and decide that nothing may tarnish your lightness, your joie de vivre and your shining power any longer.
You can no longer deal with "How could he?" And "Why did that have to happen?"
Nothing can stop you, nothing can stop you permanently or make you depressed.
You let the circumstance scream, trust so tightly that it cracks, and stick your nose in the sun.
You enjoy every second with yourself more than ever before, knowing that my rights are being taken care of right now.
Because your case is different, that's why.
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