Why doesn't my crush say hello
Unhappily in love: what to do when he's taken
I read your article in the office because I can't really help myself anymore. My feminine intuition and my logical mind make it very clear to me that I should stay sooooo far away from the guy I fell in love with. Of course, I also get that made clear by my friends, sisters and my mother. I feel bad that I have developed feelings for this young man that I shouldn't really have, because he is taken.
My problem is that he consciously gives me the feeling that he is interested in me. When we sit next to each other at the table, for example, he crosses his arms in front of his chest in order to be able to hold my hand unseen. The last time we stumbled out of a bar at half past one, he pulled me close and kissed me, whereupon we were almost caught by our friends who followed us out of the bar shortly afterwards. Fortunately, it went well again. Because I don't want to be known as “the bitch” who kisses assigned guys. It's hard to get rid of a certain reputation in a small village .. all people talk and whisper to one another and none of them would know the whole truth. Where should I come from if I don't present it. But of course I was so stupid and promised him that I would not reveal anything.
The first time he kissed me, he called me a mistake the day after. That hurt me a lot, but it also showed me that he obviously had real feelings for his girlfriend. I've tried to keep my distance and forget about him, but he keeps popping up out of the blue in my life and throwing me completely off track. I told him to stop sending me such romantic and erotic messages, because we have no future and he replies “Don't think, wait;)” ?! I argued with him that he was avoiding the clarifying conversation, which I really wanted and he supposedly too. Then I broke off the contact as best I could (we both do the same volunteer work and meet after 1-2 times a month). 6-7 weeks later the story happened in front of the bar. What was that supposed to mean from him? He said he'll take me home. Where do we find ourselves a short time later? On a park bench. I wanted to talk, which we actually did briefly. Still, the conversation ended with another kiss, which stupidly satisfied a longing in me that I didn't want to exist.
I'm not sure, but I still think he sent me signs that were meant to convey that he wanted to sleep with me. In itself I don't mind either, I'm aware of my desires. But for heaven's sake, I'm not going to sleep with him while he's in a relationship with someone else !! I've interfered much too much in this strange relationship than I should have been allowed to and I am deeply ashamed of it. It was never my intention.
I feel bad and I know that I should stay away from him, that I must not respond to him and that my thirst for his kisses, just as my behavior was just wrong.
Still, it is harder for me to let go than ever ..
In the hope that it would do me good, I roughly wrote down what happened here and actually had to find out how incredibly selfish I was. I hope that if he tries to kiss me again, I will finally have the strength to push him away or at least blow him up, because I have learned one thing: some things cannot be hidden forever. This includes the sun, the moon and the truth.
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