What makes black men so attractive?
Dating: Why do I only love white women?
I wanted to write a text on the question of whether there is racist dating. Then I realized: I almost only meet white women, too. Am I a racist myself?
contentRead on one side
Racism orders our thinking and living together. With the focus on "Everyday Racism" we want to find out why this is the case, what it means for society and how that could be changed. In this part our author asks himself whether and how racist thought patterns shape him.
I love white women. This is not a judgmental statement, but a statement: All steady partners I have had in my life have been white. Her parents came from Germany, as did her grandparents. Why is that? Is that why I am a racist? Before doing research for this text, I thought: No. Now I'm not so sure anymore.
This text shouldn't really be about me. I wanted to research whether young people in Germany are data racist - for example by unconsciously or consciously swiping non-white people to the left on Tinder. I thought it didn't concern me. I thought: I don't really care where you come from, and I don't care whether a woman wears a headscarf or not, for example. Among my Tinder matches, which are a good indicator of my preferences, there are many women who are not white or do not come from Germany. I don't care when wiping. I thought. But then I noticed something.
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I took a closer look at my matches: They are relatively diverse. But the women I get in contact with are almost all white. If you don't speak German, you're from the USA or Australia, maybe Canada. A French woman was also there. And almost all of the women I actually met in the past few months were white. There was one exception. We met once, had a nice evening, but nothing more. It had nothing to do with their skin color or language, just sympathy and attraction. Or?
People of Color
Black is a self-designation. The term is not about describing an actual skin color, but about a political category. To emphasize this, some authors also capitalize black as an adjective.
Just like black describes White no measurable skin pigmentation, but a social affiliation. What is meant is: a person who, due to his or her appearance, is less likely to experience racism in everyday life. Who as White is not strictly defined, but rather context-dependent. To avoid misunderstandings, some people write White italic or capital. This is to make it clear that it is not a pure description of externals.
The addition of Color does not mean skin color in the biological sense either, but is a collective term used by and for people who have experienced racism due to their supposed skin color. He comes from the Anglo-American area; in German-speaking countries, some take it literally due to the lack of appropriate translations. It is mainly used in science and among politically active people. The abbreviation is also common PoC For People of Color, pronounced [pi: -əʊ-si:].
In the US it is race a common term. What is meant is not a biological category (there are no human races), but a socially negotiated, relatively flexible term for different population groups. Since this context of meaning does not exist in German, the term can sometimes be read without a translation. Depending on the context, one can also speak of skin color, origin or ethnicity.
I was born in Frankfurt am Main, one of the most international cities in Germany, 180 nations live there together. But I only snogged with white Germans. In Berlin, where I went to study, 190 nations live together, almost every third woman in Berlin is either a foreigner or has a migration background. I grew up in a globalized world, in a Germany where people live, or whose parents come from all over the world. Nevertheless, almost all of the women I have dated here are white, German and have no migration background. This could be a coincidence, but it is unlikely. I seem to have an unconscious preference. That is why this text is also about me.
But not just about me: I am not alone with my behavior. In 2014, the dating portal OkCupid published which skin colors its heterosexual US-American users preferred: It had shown its members profile pictures and some details of other members. They then rated the person's attractiveness on a scale from one to five. It came out: White women rated white men 17 percent more attractive than the average. White men rated white women ten percent more attractive. A US study in which scientists also examined online dating profiles came to a similar conclusion: almost all white men and women were willing to date white people. But significantly fewer were willing to date men and women who didn't look white.
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