How did your mother break your heart

"You should be here" - this message from a mother to her dead daughter breaks our hearts

Sarah Walton lost her four-year-old daughter to cancer. At the age of four months, doctors discovered a brain tumor in little Ellie. Hospitals, chemotherapy and all side effects were part of the everyday life of her short life. Ellie recently succumbed to her illness. The moment when her parents had to take the little one's urn home, Mama Sarah captured in a moving photo. And the words she found for the difficult situation have moved the whole world ever since.

You should be here

We made you a very individual urn, you would love it, honey. Unfortunately, natural urns are just boxes and they weren't good enough for you. So I decorated it until the urn was a perfect match for you.

I was scared when I drove you home yesterday, but buckling you up felt kind of normal. Even if none of it is normal. None of this is fair. You should be here Death is so selfish, honey. My heart is broken. I am literally hurt and torn because I know you are in a better place now, and there is no better place than to be in my arms. I know you are happy now and without pain and still I want you here.

It's been 2 months since I last kissed your cheeks or played with your hair. That is 2 months of pure torture, agony and despair. All I want is our everyday life back, no matter what it was about, I want it back. I want hospital visits back, I want the chemo back, I want your smile and your happy heart back. The things that caused me so much pain just a few months ago, I want them back.

Life ain't fair, honey You know that better than anyone. I know your life has brought me so much joy and when I look back I am glad that I told you every day how much I love you. I will always be grateful that I was allowed to be your mommy.

Honey, I don't want you to look down at me and think that your death will only cause me pain. You know, I would put up with this pain over and over again if that meant that I could be your mom. Because if I had never met you, I wouldn't know what pure bliss is. I would never have known how to live every moment as if it were the last. And I wouldn't know what real strength, courage and courage would have looked like.

That's changing now, honey. I will change it. I want no other mother to feel like this again and I will fight for these other children so that no other mother will ever have to strap on her child's ashes again. You were always worth it. # more than4

Ellie's death, as difficult as it is for the family to cope with, is at the same time an impetus for her mom Sarah to advance research into childhood cancer. She wants more, more intensive and more precise research to be carried out when it comes to cancer. She wants to give this disease all the attention that is possible. Because she knows what it means to bury your own child. And she wants to spare as many parents as possible from all the pain that she and her family are going through now.

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If you want to do something to help families who are fighting cancer, visit the website of the German Cancer Aid. Not only donations can make a difference.