What should you never tell yourself
12 things you should never say to your partner
Who doesn't want a happy relationship? Talking, for example, is very important so that it lasts a long time. But saying the wrong things can lead to a breakup sooner or later as well. Because some sentences or words are simply taboo - they are harmful and by no means productive.
Often they also show that respect for one another has been lost. So don't fall into these traps and do better! You should never say that:
1. Swear words
Swear words should be taboo in the relationship. Sometimes it starts insidiously ... A "you idiot" may seem harmless, but it makes your partner appear in a bad light.
Even in an argument, you should try to tame yourself and stay objective. Because once swear words (in some relationships even crude examples are used) are the order of the day, it is already too late.
2. Discuss attractiveness
Of course everyone wants to be attractive to the partner. In order for this to work, positive words are needed.
Anyone who says to their partner that the neighbor is more attractive has lost. Women who grapple with their partner's tummy should also formulate this positively. An invitation to exercise together or a shopping trip with friendly tips (“This could suit you”) are much more productive.
3. The same accusations over and over again
Certainly some mistakes are made quite often. But if you keep messing with it, you don't change anything. On the contrary - the roles become even more rigid. “You never take down the garbage” is a prophecy, so to speak, while “Please take the garbage down” can work wonders.
Of course, the tone also makes the music ... "I would be happy if you ..." is also more constructive than the same litany of accusations.
4. "You have always been like this!"
This sentence is tantamount to surrender and robs the other of any chance to change something. The statement is always aimed at negative behaviors.
If the crimes of the partner actually predominate, a separation should be considered instead rather than this accusation. Because character traits cannot be changed completely.
5. "Your mother says that too."
Anyone who takes the partner's mother, who is not even present, to his side during an argument is quite unfair. Even if the sentence can be true in individual cases, it should not be mentioned. Because the parents or childhood of the partner are usually a very personal matter that has little to do with today's partnership.
Because mothers often have their own way of looking at their child - even if they have grown up for a long time. So: Better to be an adult and look at the relationship on an equal footing!
6. "You belong in the nut mill!"
This phrase is not that rare in long-term relationships (or divorces). Here an assumed mental illness is put into the room, just to dress down the partner.
Even if the person does have some oddities, this abuse is not very conducive.
Reading tip:How do I save my relationship after a breakup?
7. "Take an example ..."
This sentence sounds like a parent teaching a child. Oddly enough, some relationships actually develop in that direction over the years ...
For example, if you look jealously at other couples, you should make concrete suggestions instead of treating your partner like a child. An encouraging “I would be very happy about flowers” sounds quite different on the other hand.
8. "You" allegations
Anyone who is upset automatically falls into "you" reproaches. Then it reels out what the other is doing so wrong and leaves him no chance of a factual response. Instead, encourage yourself to have a quiet conversation by talking about what you dislike.
It is best to explain how you are feeling right now. It can be that it turns out that your partner has a completely different perception and doesn't mean it badly at all.
Common solutions to the problem can be created. Productive arguing needs to be learned - even if you have to take a step back.
9. "You are like your mother / father!"
This argument has very unpleasant consequences in a dispute, because it is difficult to reply to it. Whether it is true remains to be seen - it is difficult to prove the opposite.
Genes cannot be changed and with age, one or the other similarity can become clearer.
Nevertheless, this allegation is a manslaughter argument that is neither fair nor helpful. So avoid it completely and prefer to bring the disputes to a factual level (see also previous point).
10. "What are you thinking right now?"
Even if women want this question more often than they want to hear men, it should be kept to a minimum.
Of course, sometimes it's exciting to get an answer. But having to answer questions about your thoughts at every (in) appropriate moment is not always beneficial.
Especially when the thoughts of a couple are quite different, disappointment is inevitable.
Are you in a romantic mood right now while your partner is thinking about work? That doesn't have to mean that he doesn't care about you ... He may just be honest.
11. Passing sexual dissatisfaction on to the partner
In long-term partnerships in particular, at least one of the partners may be a little dissatisfied with having sex together. Here you should address at a suitable moment what you want instead of shifting the blame on to your partner and expressing accusations.
Even with great love, the ideas and wishes can ultimately be different. Nobody is to blame here - but you can try to compromise after an open discussion.
12. Formulate wishes as plans
Especially in young partnerships, it can easily happen that wishes take shape in the head - a shame if this is one-sided.
You see yourself in front of the altar and with a group of children? The dream trip is planned, but your sweetheart doesn't know about it yet? Patiently take one step at a time and don't decide on your own what your future should look like.
Did you notice something that you have already experienced? Once is not a once - but again you shouldn't pronounce these taboos ... If you accept the tips, your relationship will get better and better.
Did you like or even help the article? You are also welcome to ask questions on the topic in the comments.
About the authorOliver is an expert in personal development and a passionate bodybuilder. Having grown up in the quiet East Frisia, he is now constantly on the hunt for new challenges. He believes in true love and wants to help people who are unhappy in love to become happy again. For this reason he launched Love Repair, 2016.
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