How do I become an independent man

Mental independence: deterrent autonomy

No question, independence testifies to the self-confidence and mental strength of those who can free themselves from the opinion of others. Such people know who they are, what they can do, what they want. The views of others are at best useful for them, but not authoritative. They do their thing, live their lives. Class! Attitude is a key to success. On the one hand. Intellectual independence but can also be extremely daunting. At least you should be aware of that. How you can recognize confident people and how you can acquire more independence yourself ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Independence definition: what does it mean?

The term independence has different meanings and evaluations depending on the context. In political and constitutional respect is, for example, synonymous with independence from autonomy or sovereignty, which is why a head of state was also referred to as a sovereign according to an absolutist understanding.

In relation to people, independence can mean that someone can manage their life, without help from others goes his way. Not so easily influenced in discussions. Or he has become self-employed and can therefore do his job as he sees fit, regardless of the boss's rules.

Independence can also mean freedom from other people. Having no partner, no children or any person to look for To take responsibility to whom one is accountable. In this regard, to be independent means that someone does not have to be considerate of others and can make their own decisions free of control.

Often the dream of children is: When I grow up, I only do what I want! Of course, on the way to adulthood, at some point we come to realize that we have to deal with certain things Rules and constraints are bound.

The thought of absolute control over one's life is to some extent an illusion. The human being is a social being and often seeks to be close to others - unless someone decides to drop out.

But even then it is largely dated Goodwill of society depending on, for example, entry requirements or residence and work permits.

Personality determines the degree of independence

How much (especially: mental) independence there is in a person is not least a question of personality. Shaped by childhood experiences and the Upbringing the parents, but of course also experiences in adulthood.

People who are low on self-confidence always will Seek proximity to themthat make you feel like you know exactly where to go. Of course, that poses problems: emotional ones Dependency and vulnerability in relationships.

Even in social terms, this has consequences. A democratic state has an interest in responsible citizenswho are not so easily persuaded, but are firmly established in their convictions that are immune to manipulation.

The more independent a person is, the more flexible they are in their actions. Instead of waiting for the approval of others, he decides autonomously. That is why such people prefer to work independently in a quiet room over working in a team - without saying that they are not able to work in a team.

Only teams often mean compromises and thus a Delaying decisions and their implementation. Anyone who has already made appropriate considerations for themselves will also come to a result faster.

Self-employment light in the company

Quite a few employees interpret independence as freedom from the bosses. Quite a few are annoyed with narrow scope for decision-making, Generation Y in particular is said to want far more decision-making powers.

Especially since many young workers have a different one Relationship to the hierarchy than the baby boomer generation. Hierarchical top-down thinking is still widespread there, providing only one direction for decisions, namely from top to bottom - including built-in correctness.

Suggestions and criticism there is no place due to employees. Generations Y and Z value such predetermined processes less, especially since they make companies extremely inflexible. Employers have also recognized this. So there is a move from America that enables employees to be more independent: the position of an intrapreneur.

The prerequisite for this is the will to independently pursue goals and implement ideas without having to go the "official" path every time. The built-in self-sufficiency Of course, the company has its price: As an intrapreneur, the laurels of your actions are transferred to the company if you are successful.

On the other hand, you enjoy a distinctly higher level of security as if you had started your own business. Ideas that turn out to be dead bullets will not bring you to the edge of existence. If you fail, at most you will lose this management position and be a normal employee again.

Viewed in this way, this position is an ideal compromise for workers who are want more freedom, but at the same time don't want to miss the security provided by the company.

Mental autonomy: 7 traits for success with a downside

So desirable autonomy, mental sovereignty, personal independence, financial independence and Self-determination also are - they also have a downside:

They can exclude people who are mentally not quite as strong or make them flee. They have quite a few strong characters Ability to miniaturize: Everyone else feels very small, weak, and powerless around them.

Just: Who wants to feel this way?

Below is a list of 7 traits for success, all of which distinguish the spiritually independent. Like every medal, they have one too second, chilling side. What works best for professional and private advancement can become a handicap between people. Albert Einstein already recognized:

Nothing in the world is more feared than the influence of men who are spiritually independent.

Self-control and external control - We are constantly moving between these two poles.

Those who are more externally controlled will tend to join others, look for allies or follow prominent contemporaries. But that does not mean that those who have role models are automatically controlled externally. Such Idols can also be guard rails and orientation aids - for your own, self-determined path.

It is more crucial for independent thinking Awareness of your own identity: I know who I am, what I can and what I want. Those who know, love and trust themselves well gain intellectual independence and can resist foreign attempts at control and temptations. It has a kind of inner compass and thus retains its autonomy.

7 signs that you are spiritually independent

There are two ways to read the following section: you can review them against your own actions and come to the conclusion that they apply. Or you can see these seven points as Instructions for more independence.

  1. You are tremendously focused.

    Focus is a key driver of career and success. Knowing your - mind you - your own (!) Goals and pursuing them consistently and with concentration, bundles strengths and avoids that you (like many others) get bogged down or get lost. Such focused people are not only extremely persistent and stubborn, they can also hardly be distracted or discouraged. In technical jargon, this property is also called volition. The downside, however, is that everything that does not lead to a personal goal is often mercilessly plowed under. Sometimes relationships, friendships, family too.

  2. You know how to say no.

    Everyone likes the nice, helpful colleagues who never say “no”. Because they make life easier - especially your own. However, if you have learned to set limits now and then, you will get further. That too is a form of focus. However, this can offend some people seeking advice or help. The trick is to recognize when a (merciful) “yes” would still be better.

  3. You are ambitious.

    The status quo is nothing for you. You want to develop, push boundaries, learn new things, master challenges. Ambitions have made many a career shine and glory. But they can also destroy people. Anyone who is overambitious will at some point be fine with any means. He seeks success at any price - no matter what the cost. And if it's your own values, your soul or your health. As with Icarus, for whom his ambitions to fly towards the sun have only brought downfall.

  4. You are selective with friends.

    Good knowledge of people is a strength. It is also wise to avoid negative people and the unfortunate. Especially helpful, open, and successful people keep attracting these toxic types. Dangerous! Those who expose themselves to the influence of emotionally unstable and incurably dissatisfied people risk a lot. They act like a negative reinforcer and increase everything that may hold you down and unbalance anyone who gets involved with them. However - and this is the downside: Being so selective can also make you lonely. Nobody is perfect.

  5. You are a realistic optimist.

    That means: Above all, they see opportunities, even in defeats. At the same time, you are not looking into the future through rose-colored glasses. Realistic optimism describes an attitude of planned confidence - sober, without glossing over. Behind this is the conviction that things turn out well because they can. This setting gives you an excellent compass. But some people cannot get out of their skin at all: They see risks above all, worry about worries, and remain blind to options. To them, the realistic optimist doesn't seem realistic at all, but rather like Rambo.

  6. You can handle money.

    Basically, this point is not about money, but about willpower and waiver of gratuities. It is not so easy for you to succumb to short-term temptations - be it shopping, eating or, well, sex. Jean-Jacques Rousseau once said: “A person's independence and freedom are based less on the strength of their arms than on the tempering of their hearts.” Such people pursue long-term plans and can therefore budget well, weigh up rationally and calculate coolly. The result: you can often negotiate better and have greater wealth over time. The disadvantage: The others see above all the prosperity and the created financial freedom - and promptly withdraw all social credit from the nouveau riche yuppie. Not all can indulge.

  7. You can be alone well.

    Man is a social being and sociability is a highly likeable quality. But that doesn't mean that someone like that always has to have people around - on the contrary: spiritually independent people draw enormous strength from loneliness and being alone with themselves. Be it through meditation, long walks or self-talk. Such breaks not only relax, they also help you to see more clearly and to sort and structure your own thoughts. Whoever withdraws for this, however, withdraws from the community at the same time. And so some groups react to such emancipation with incomprehension or even with peer pressure, in the worst case with permanent exclusion of the eccentric.

One could also say: whoever possesses the seven mentioned properties has his own Life under control, rests in itself and possesses deep inner motivation and satisfaction. The philosopher and essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote at the time:

In the world it is easy to follow the opinions of others; In solitude it is easy to follow the opinion of others, but a great man is one who, in the midst of the crowd, completely calmly maintains the independence that he has acquired in solitude.

Two monks: a parable about spiritual independence

Freely retold from "The Wisdom of Zen Masters":

Once upon a time there were two monks on the move. When they came to a river, they saw a young woman with beautiful clothes. She also wanted to cross the river. But it was so deep that it would have damaged her clothes.

Without hesitation, one of the monks went to the woman, lifted her on his shoulders, and waded with her through the river. On the other side, he put it down again, dry. After the other monk also waded through the water, the two of them continue their journey.

After about an hour, however, the second monk vented his anger: “You know that we are forbidden to have such close contact with women ?! You shouldn't have carried this woman! ”The first monk listened patiently to the criticism, then replied,“ I dropped the woman down by the river an hour ago. Why are you still carrying them around with you? "

Independence liberates, but it has its price

For some, such role models are attractive and worthy of imitation. Others see you as a permanent affront - sort of Blasphemy against the mainstream: It doesn't even have to be the proverbial envy that the successful get given.

Already your own (inner) Strength and independence suffice to trigger the reflex to force the spiritually sovereign back into the external control of the group - or to ostracize them.

Independence exempt. But it also has its price: whoever can Luxury of your own opinion affords and the Maintains intellectual independence, lives more uncomfortable and less belonging.

Nonconforming lateral thinkers and convention crackers have never been particularly popular. People who have a great need for harmony and want to be liked by others are rather unsuitable for this.

All others have to be content with To have classbut never the crowd behind you.

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