Have you ever dated your teacher?

Have you ever been wrong ...? Richard Bandler working with clients

Transcript

1 1 Have you ever been wrong ...? Richard Bandler working with clients Report from a personal enhancement workshop in London by Ronnie Amsler In addition to his training groups, Richard Bandler also occasionally organizes so-called personal enhancement workshops for around 40 participants. Each of them is asked to submit their personal change requests together with their photo in writing before the seminar. In this way Richard can single out individual topics, but also orientates himself on common focal points, which he addresses with his stories and group trance. In contrast to regular NLP training, the participants do not do any exercises here. Richard works with the whole group as well as with individuals and uses his whole repertoire, a concentrated load of language patterns: Meta-Model, Milton-Model, Reframings, Sleight of Mouth-Pattern, Metaphors. Of course, he also works with various NLP techniques, with submodalities and strategies, and uses hypnosis, but also body work, as he learned from Moshe Feldenkrais. For NLP trainers, such occasions are ideal for observing and modeling the master in action. How does he do it? What does he do with difficult clients? Does Richard Bandler fail too? Here you can get a live demonstration of the entire NLP method package. NLP - multi-layered, complex and virtuoso. As always when Richard Bandler works with groups, his stories will captivate you. Where other trainers often tell well-known Sufi stories, Richard (he) finds his own Sufi stories and is not afraid of grotesque exaggerations to get a message in a nutshell: Baron von Münchhausen sends his regards. As a gifted narrator with a good dose of self-irony, he spins his trance network. He speaks dialogues with different voices and integrates his suggestions in such a way that they effectively accompany the listener in everyday life. The participants are brilliantly entertained. Richard offers unconventional perspectives, funny, sometimes bizarre stories, impressive demonstrations, great trances and lots to laugh about. Since laughter is known to be healthy and a lot of laughter is very healthy, you are really doing something for your health when you attend a seminar by Richard Bandler. The change topics of the participants are very diverse: fears, hyperactivity, being able to visualize, sing, find out how Richard does his job, keep young people out of street gangs, alcoholism, motivation, learning foreign languages, work addiction, hair loss, a second Ferrari, levitating, switching from the manager to the husband and father, multimillionaires will be able to trust their own clairvoyant talent and go deep into a trance by the end of the year. Nevertheless, there is always a common thread that runs through each group. Richard Bandler: Every time I do something like this, there are certain topics. It is like a group secretly arranging to do this as a group. Last time it was Verschieberitis. At least half had difficulty tackling things and pulling them off. Shyness and approaching people seem to be an issue for you. So I reckon that you will be very shy, at least at the beginning of the seminar. And I won't change anything about that until the end of the seminar. That way we move forward much faster.

2 2 Richard Bandler doesn't mince his words when it comes to making it clear to participants whether their goals are realistic and meaningful. Problems are always a question of attitude. So attitude is often the first starting point. In turn, he takes on questions and requests at the beginning and immediately delivers a broad side of reinterpretations and funny comments that stimulate thought before he begins to work in depth with individual participants: someone wants to be a multimillionaire by Christmas. Richard Bandler: I'm sorry, I don't distribute any money. If you're looking for someone to get money from, I'm the wrong man. I can't handle it myself. I don't care much about money, so I'll give it to my wife and she'll make it out. Someone goes to the gym and hates it. R.B .: So we can do two things: Either we tell you you don't have to go to the fitness center, or we do it so that you discover your fun with it. If people can enjoy skydiving, then they can have fun in anything. There are also people who spend a lot of time punching little white balls and running after them. And then they try to punch it into a small hole that is very far away. And what's even crazier, there are even people watching them on TV. There is already a golf TV channel in the US! I also played golf once. I found it easier, however, to drive to the hole and toss the ball into it. It's against the rules. But that's what I like about rules, that they are ultimately arbitrary. Someone else wants their hair to grow back. R.B .: I didn't do any research on hair growth. Losing your hair isn't necessarily a bad thing, though. You just have a little less to worry about. It's the feeling you get that matters. If you think the size of your breasts determines whether you are happy or not, then you can have your breasts enlarged and still feel unhappy. However, I doubt whether a knife is the right instrument if you want to make yourself beautiful. Some things are simply facts of life, and there is nothing wrong with that: some here will never be taller than they are today, some never thinner. Not everyone was planned tall and slim. I had a friend who was a psychiatrist and went to India to find himself. I said to him: "You are standing here in front of me, you don't have to look for yourself." Of course he didn't want to find himself, that's what they say. He didn't feel good about himself. He wasn't happy because he never practiced. People are more used to feeling bad. Today we suffer from environmental pollution, air pollution, water pollution, consciousness pollution and the pollution of our internal dialogues. If you can't feel good for no reason, then neither can you feel good if you have a reason. So start each day by making sure you know what to do so that you can feel comfortable in your skin in a variety of ways. Then try to infect others with it. Some of you wrote three or four pages, and I don't know the answer yet. Some are absolutely megalomaniac: they want to stop hunger in the world. We are

3 3 only three days here! What I can do here is to influence you to do meaningful things. I hope by the end of these three days the best you have got is the ability to align your conscious intentions with your unconscious processes. Because that's where people get into trouble. Someone here has strong clairvoyant intuitions, but distrusts them and then does not follow them. Everyone has clairvoyant talent to some extent. Basically, it's all about being able to tell good and bad decisions apart. Decisions (group exercise): Think about a decision that was good and one that you later regretted. If you think about the two decisions alternately, are the memory images in the same place in your imagination? Richard Bandler to a participant: Point to the good, then to the bad decision. Now think of another good decision. Is that picture in the same place as the good decision? "It's actually in the same place" Well, does that give you a clue? Suppose you want to make a decision that is important for your future, and the picture is in the place where previous bad decisions are stored. What could that tell you So your unconscious is showing you something. All that is needed now is the will to act on it, which is not an easy thing. You cannot do this with your conscious mind. But we will work on it. People always make conscious decisions and then throw them overboard again. Diets are such an example: many people have tried hundreds of diets instead of starting the first one again after they relapse. They just don't adjust to the fact that they are not perfect. Something in you, if you make a mistake, should simply say: stop it! Nobody made more mistakes than me. I learned so much that way. My first marriage lasted only two months and cost me over $ 6 million. That's why I don't care about money today. I married someone who was really good looking. I was young and stupid and she seemed to like me. But the moment we were married, everything changed suddenly. So I went out to buy a pack of cigarettes and didn't come back until a few years later. When I find myself in uncomfortable situations, I try to turn them around. The point here is that you are able to control yourself. You probably expected me to do this for you. I'll make it easier for you, but you still have to do it yourself. Basically, you cannot feel fear unless you are producing biochemical changes in your body. You let your subconscious mix enzymes, hormones etc. into a neuro-cocktail so that your body can feel fear. You cannot get angry or fearful without changing your body chemistry. You can't learn without that either. State-based learning is very important. Guide biochemistry through your behavior. That's something I do a lot today. I don't think placebos work because people are being cheated on, but because they believe. It is your ability to believe that changes your biochemical response. Whether a patient heals quickly or slowly is directly dependent on how strongly they believe in it. And the fact that you have held a belief for a long time

4 4 the molecular structure of the universe within us is sustained by biochemical processes. If we want changes and just want to make them, then we should think of them as chemical reactions. Tonight, if you have time, set a direction for yourself. Something amazing will happen when you find yourself subconsciously starting to sort out decisions. Good decisions have their place in your mind. Now you have the opportunity to make a very important decision, namely that you will only make good decisions in the future. Because now you have a way to tell good choices from bad ones. Once you start using your brain to teach your brain something, your body will respond to it. In my life I have seen so many miracles patients who have been given up by the doctors and who have recovered anyway. Spontaneous remissions happen much more often than you think. As a young man, I lived completely healthy myself, did not smoke, did not drink alcohol and practiced karate from early morning until late at night when a doctor diagnosed me with cancer. That made me very angry. I bought a huge pack of cigarettes and a couple of bottles of tequila and a few weeks later I found myself pretty blue in Mexico. When I got back my cancer was gone. Nevertheless, there are always doctors who think that certain things are impossible. My wife was struck by an illness that is incurable. She was paralyzed from the neck down. It is a disease similar to multiple sclerosis. Doctors said the prognosis was not good and very few patients survived. When my wife survived, the doctor said: OK, she survived, but she will probably never be able to walk again. How long have doctors been clairvoyants? My wife can walk again today. Doctors always ask, "Have you ever made a mistake?" You can get a second opinion, but what to expect from someone who has the same education? I know some people in this room who, if it had been up to the doctors, would have been dead long ago. I should be dead by now too. But I don't follow the rules. There are many good doctors out there, but in general I am not too impressed with them. The fact that they attended school for a long time just means that they are slow to learn. I completed my chiropractic training, which normally lasts five years, in five months and passed all the exams. Expanding an education doesn't necessarily make it better. One of the pleasant things about my courses is that it doesn't matter what you did in your childhood, whether you did something stupid, whether you think you should be ashamed, whether you think you don't deserve to be happy . I only have one question for you: Have you ever been wrong? "Visualize Richard Bandler: Is there anything you hoped for when you came here? A young man: I'm not good at visualizing. RB: Well, you you want to pretend that when you think of women, you don't see any pictures? Man: Well, so there I see pictures. RB: Okay. Do you have any other problems? (Laughter) You just have to start with women and work your way up Prepare for the other images. Visualizing is a trance state. For many years I have believed that it was a metaphor when people talked about their images. I wasn't aware that they were seeing them effectively because I was not a visual person myself. I did everything aurally. I even remembered phone numbers by tones. When the digital phone was introduced, I had a real problem: They had different grades than me. But when I found out that you can effectively take pictures, it did for me ch opens up worlds of new possibilities.

5 5 What things are you not good at visualizing? Can you see a rhinoceros Man: Yes, to some extent. R.B .: Good, can you see a rhinoceros with the head of a giraffe? Man: Not good, the picture is so unreal. R.B .: Of course, there's no rhinoceros here either. It is a good thing that you know a difference between really and not really seeing. Well, it's one thing to see something inside that you've seen before and imagine something you've never seen. If you want to do something that you have never done before, you need to be able to imagine different images than the ones you can remember. You can see it in the position of the eyes. I watched you and knew that it was difficult for you to imagine constructed images. For example, can you see yourself? Man: No. R.B .: It's difficult, it's not a remembered picture unless you remember how you saw yourself in the mirror. But if I asked you to see you here It's like a part of your brain that you haven't used yet. I suggest you a trick. Can you move your eyes up to the right Inwardly tell yourself: "mmmh, let's see!" Move your eyes up to the right and picture yourself sitting here in this chair. Is the? That is hard. The man is still struggling to imagine the picture. Bandler takes his hand and begins a lengthy trance induction. R.B .: Look at your hand. And relax so we can get the rest of your brain to do what it should, okay? Close your eyes and go back in your thoughts as if you are in a deep dream and start to see parts of pictures ... crystal clear ... Everyone dreams, and sometimes you see yourself in these dreams ... How on a film on the screen you see yourself swimming, cycling ... All people who are successful learn to see themselves successfully ... Richard uses trance to teach the client how to relax in general can. To do this, he builds in stories that are also addressed to other participants. Real wealth is from enjoying doing whatever you do. All the geniuses that I have modeled Buckminster Fuller, Linus Pauling, Moshe Feldenkrais, all of them had diverse talents, they were scientists, but also artists, musicians, writers, inventors, poets. As you learn how to learn, your interests automatically grow as everything is interconnected. And how is it connected? It's linked to your own neurology. We are not in the universe we are the universe. If you can learn to change the way you feel, it will be a fundamental change for you. If you can overcome a fear, everything changes. It's not about seeing perfect pictures, but if you can see one picture clearer than before, it means that tomorrow you will see a dozen pictures clearer than today. R.B. after the trance: can you see yourself now? Man: Yeah. R.B .: Good, can you see yourself doing things successfully? Man: Yeah. R.B .: And do you trust what you see? Well then, now put yourself in your picture.It is not enough to see what you are doing. You also have to feel what it feels like to do it. That's the whole trick. In my favorite experiment, researchers took a yogurt culture, divided it in half, and measured the electrical activity of one half. Milk has been poured into the other half, that's what a yogurt eats. When one half of the yogurt got milk, the other half immediately went wild with electrical activity. In other words, half of the yogurt knew the other half was being fed and she wasn't. Glass walls have been placed between the yogurt halves. The yogurt knew the other one anyway

6 6 yoghurt ass. Even lead walls, electromagnetic fields, nothing a greater distance could prevent yogurt from knowing about yogurt. The vibrations were so sensitive that one could speak of a supernatural phenomenon. This is important. That means, when you start feeding yourself a certain way, when you start vibrating and feeling good, the good will attract in your life, good people, good events; it will change your diet and your breathing. It's not that fitness leads to better health, it's the other way around: you need a healthy mindset to keep your body healthy. Fears A woman says that she wants to be able to control the future. R.B .: Whose future do you want to control? Woman: My own future and that of my surroundings. R.B .: family members? Woman: yes! R.B .: Here's the truth: you can't control their future! So stop trying. You can control your future, which in turn will have an impact on their future. If you get happier and happier, so will they. I'm the biggest crazy myself, and my friends are crazy too. But my children are very well adapted because they have had to deal with everything. Woman: What's the best way to get a grip on fear? I am afraid of the future. R.B .: Aha, now we get to the point. You are not afraid, you are afraid. Where is the fear? It is in your body. Does she sit there all the time? Woman: It comes and goes. R.B .: Good, and when it comes, where does it come from? The client's eyes go up. How do you know when to be afraid? How do you know what to fear? Do you make pictures Woman: Yeah. R.B .: Well, if you get an idea, then you are afraid. Then don't make the picture! Get a picture of a watermelon. Do you feel anxious then too? Woman: No. R.B .: So it's not the feeling that is the problem, it's that you can't stop making this fucking picture. Woman: It always comes back. R.B .: No, you can do it yourself. There are no images floating around and nestling with you. So start talking about it in such a way that you make these pictures yourself. Then you can learn not to do them. Now let's have fun with the picture. Make it twice the size and bring it closer so you could yell at people. Do you know the brightness control on your television? I want you to turn it up to the max. Richard makes a hissing noise like something is flying through the air. Then you will see the white screen. Do this three times. And then again the original picture. Can you still feel bad about it? Does it still make that anxious feeling in your body? Woman: I can't see it. R.B .: If you forget to take pictures that make you anxious, then neither will you. Richard shares a few stories about other people with different fears and how they overcame them. See yourself in the situation, then turn up the brightness control and delete the picture as if you were erasing a typo. Learn to guide your unconscious. Not that that!

7 7 Maybe you should snap some pictures of pleasant things that could happen. You would never believe how quickly you can forget these unpleasant things. And you were wrong about that. To be wrong is a good thing. I believe in the mistake. There are many things that are worthwhile to be mistaken about. You can be wrong if you believed that you would have to spend years being scared. In which direction did the feeling of fear go? If it didn't move, you'd get used to it and wouldn't even know you had it. Woman: It's just in the stomach. R.B .: Yes, it's just in the stomach, and in which direction is it moving? It shows the direction of movement. Well then stop for a moment and move that feeling the other way. A feeling almost always begins to turn into the opposite when you change direction. And if you do it faster and you are aware that it creates a fear, what would be the opposite of fear? Then let your imagination run away with you so that you see other options. Can you generate hopes and dreams and move towards them? Make the feeling spin faster and faster and take a bigger picture. See you do the things you want to do. Attack is the best defense and the best attack is to live a comfortable life. There are many things on your lists, but basically it's always about the same: you have a feeling and the feeling is bad and where does it come from? There aren't many options: either you talk to yourself or you make pictures. Not a complicated system. Sing man: I want to sing. R.B .: Is there something that is stopping you? Man: When I sing it sounds wrong. R.B .: Have you ever listened to the radio recently? That shouldn't be a hindrance. Let me tell you two words: Bob Dylan! The man has earned millions and does not hit a grade. He composes his songs on a typewriter. Have you ever taken singing lessons? Man: No. There are people who simply have a good ear. R.B .: And is there something wrong with your ears? When you sing, do you listen to yourself? Do you know if you are singing the right note? Otherwise, change the note until it sounds harmonious. So: I'm singing a note now, and you sing the same note or one that sounds harmonious. Richard begins to sing a drawn out note. The man sings along softly and relatively wrongly. You're right, you have poor hearing. Bandler observes eye access cues. What are you making pictures for? You know what? I believe that you don't believe that you can make sounds that sound good. Is that so? Man: Yeah. R.B .: You are wrong. Have you been mistaken before? This is again something where it is a good thing to be mistaken. If I asked you "can you sing?" Would you answer no? Man: Yeah! R.B .: How do you know the answer to that question? Do you talk to yourself or do you take pictures? There aren't many options. Man: Hmmm (He looks up) R.B .: Do you see the picture you are looking at right now? What is on the picture? I suspect you see yourself singing wrong ... That means you are good at picture taking, but what you put in your pictures is not helpful. In addition: At the moment when you are taking pictures, you are not listening. Your ear to music will only be good when you clear your mind.

8 8 We're trying a little trick. Shift the image very far away until it becomes a point. Then zoom it in very close and see yourself starting to listen and being very relaxed about it. You shouldn't be so tense. The nice thing about music is that if you make a mistake, just repeat it. That is then called jazz. If you repeat the mistake all over again, it's called creativity. If you zoom in on the picture, then place it exactly where the negative picture was before and do that very quickly. And most importantly: See how easy-going and relaxed you are in this picture. Give yourself the chance to learn. The only way to learn is to make mistakes, notice them, and change what you are doing. The more you do this, the more you will find that you can build a new belief that is not based on worrying about what others think of you. Not worth it. Because the others are too busy to worry about what you think of them. You should learn the mantra: "fuck it!" You can learn to "loosen up" the concept. Loosen your muscles, loosen your posture, your attitudes, and then you will learn. See your picture as you grow big ears. And feel your ears grow big. When musicians speak of big ears, they mean what an ear can discover. The more the ear discovers, the more it can hear, and the more you can calm down inside and begin to hear the rhythm and tone changes in my voice. R.B. begins to modulate his voice ... It's not so important that you sing someone else's songs, but that you find your own voice. When you can feel your lips, mouth, and throat, you can go back in your mind, hear the music you like, and start singing. Singing is an unconscious process. If you learn songs by listening, then you sing them by letting your whole body make the sound. So sing in your mind without anyone around. Sing to please yourself. And the better the tones, the better you should feel. And if you ever miss a note, feel the strong need to feel good ... You can practice in your mind, and you can do it in trance time. A teacher once told me that I wasn't musical. And I composed 32 symphonies! I play almost all musical instruments except those that have to be blown into. I've tried, but I have something against people who want to play the saxophone. That's why I don't trust Bill Clinton. Whoever plays the saxophone doesn't even want to play all the time, just here and there. We need a hard-working musician, for example a drummer, as president ... My musical talent did not rely on the opinion of my teacher ... People who judge your musical abilities could be wrong ... like many others .. .Start with a few moments of success, and then add a few more moments of success ... In the meantime, I'll be talking to other people here ... A few elements of Richard's interventions. These were a few examples of the way Richard is Bandler works with clients at his workshop. My aim with this article was to provide some concise protocols as illustrative material. Since Richard is constantly working with his stories, group trances, and group exercises, it is difficult to tell when exactly work with an individual client starts and when it ends. Nevertheless, a few basic patterns stand out: 1. When the client describes his problem, Richard first relativizes the problem with a reframe by redefining it, discovering a benefit in it or claiming to have the problem as well. Example: A man says he is hyperactive.

9 9 R.B .: I was also told that I was hyperactive and that I should use drugs. I replied: "No problem, I'll already do that." The aim of a redefinition: the client has never seen it this way. Now it is also clear why he has not found a solution so far. That creates hope that change is possible now. 2. Can the client create the negative state here and now? That proves that he can control it. Richard often interprets problem strategy as a skill that the client should teach him. R.B .: What are you doing to create your fear? What do you do to create the hyperactive state? What do I have to do if I want to create the same state? 3. Frequent interventions Richard works with in this seminar are swish, V / K dissociation, behavior generator, changing belief systems and above all and again and again working with kinesthetic submodalities: How does someone build up a negative feeling, and how can he keep it up? Which body sensations are involved in which order? Then, when this loop is uncovered, as an intervention, he lets the client reverse the kinaesthetic loop and circulate it very quickly until the opposite feeling arises. Richard has developed a number of new, extremely powerful techniques that incorporate kinesthetic submodalities. 4. Mostly he deepens his change work with a trance, in which a future pacing and a generalization of the change are built. Richard's work looks a little different when he works with clients in individual sessions. We have modeled his approach with individual clients and convey this model in our NLP master’s courses. Anyone who has already seen Richard in action knows that there is a lot more that cannot be easily reproduced in a transcript. In order to really benefit from it, you need to experience it live. It is particularly impressive how Richard picks up threads over a long period of time, tests and reinforces resources and addresses stories and metaphors to specific people.

10 10 And finally, a few snapshots from the workshop that stick: for example, how Richard treats a man who has injured his hip joint during a parachute jump on the massage table in a feldenkrais manner and at the same time speaks and works like a simultaneous chess player with several clients in turn. Shortly before, the man complained that he could no longer sleep because of the pain and is already sleeping blissfully under Richard's massage hands or the story of Jack, the stupid mugger from New York, who assaults Richard Bandler and threatens him with a drumstick. Apparently he was too stingy to get a real weapon or the stories of nonsensical views: Richard Bandler's adventures in Africa. He had been given an anti-snake poison kit to help him survive in the bush. He thought it wasn't that easy to catch the crawling beasts and inject them with the anti-snake venom ... Until someone pointed out that that wasn't the purpose of the exercise either ... or the thing with the teenage bass player, who put condoms over his fingers to pluck the strings because he had recently learned in sex lessons that musicians are more at risk of contracting an STD ... You laugh at the bizarre ideas, but the message comes across: ideas nestle in our heads and it is worth checking and updating them again and again. When was the last time you were wrong? About the author: Ronald Amsler is an NLP master trainer and has headed the NLP INSTITUT ZURICH since 1990. He conducts in-house and public NLP seminars and training courses at all levels.