Why is it so hard to resist narcissist vacuuming?
What is vacuum cleaning? The Games Narcissists Play To Suck You Back In
Hoovering is what a narcissist will do to bring you back under their spell. Sucking you in like a vacuum makes a mess. Don't fall for it!
Hoovering is a technique used by people who are either narcissists, borderline personality, sociopaths, or other types of personality disorders where other people are nothing more than an instrument or tool they want or where they want to be.
It's called vacuuming because it's a situation where a person literally sucks someone back into a dysfunctional relationship once the victim finds their way.
Someone who is a victim of narcissism abuse will often experience symptoms such as post traumatic stress disorder. They show anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, cognitive dissonance, and panic attacks.
When they finally come to terms and find a new normal outside of the abuser, the perpetrator tries to "vacuum" them again, i.e. vacuum cleaners. Again, the abuser treats the person like dirt, so it makes sense on all fronts.
When a narcissist sucks someone, all bets are off. They use every emotional hot spot and vulnerability to get them back. As soon as they suck it in again, they don't want it anymore. One terrible form of abuse, when you are getting out of a narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationship, it is imperative that you block all communication and not be sucked back in.
Why is the narcissist narcissist?
A narcissist lives and dies to the attention and worship they receive from those around them. When they have someone, they don't want them anymore. But when you tear yourself away and fear that they won't be able to siphon off all of your feelings and leave you dry, then they do the charm to bring you back.
They have a pathological fear of not being respected, loved, or that they are worthless. They use someone to meet their emotional need to be important. However, they do it covertly, through emotional manipulation.
Vacuum Cleaner Tricks - 8 Most Obvious Ways People Are Trying To Vacuum You
A narcissist needs people to pay attention to them. Not just one fan, but many with whom they feel important and worthwhile. Since they are empty inside, they find love and acceptance from others in order to survive.
Much like a predator, they choose their victims carefully, usually highly empathic, low in self-esteem, and dependent on the need to be loved.
How do you know that you are being hired
When you finally let go of a relationship that has been abusing you, you are likely confused and trying to heal from the emotional turmoil. If you have questions about whether you made the right decision, don't pay attention to yourself and let them ignite you. Or feel like you've done the whole thing in your head. You know what they did was wrong. You finally took the break. Hold on and cut them loose.
These are all vacuuming tactics that you must resist. Don't forget, they are not in love with you. You are in love with the way that you are feeling. The love they promise isn't real. If that were the case, you wouldn't have had to start over.
# 1 They pretend your relationship never ended. One vacuum technique is to pretend you've never ended the relationship. Negating them, leaving, saying goodbye to them, or that you told them it was over and didn't want anything to do with them is a tactic that will lead you to gauge what really happened. A narcissist often acts like you're still a couple no matter how many times you say "it's over."
# 2 They send unexpected gifts. Since you are a possession to her to get you back think to give you a gift is the way to win you. Whether it's flowers, tickets to an event with an invitation, or even a lavish jewelry, a narcissist will do what he can to win you back by buying your love.
Since their love is based on something other than emotions, they use every tactic they can to suck you back.
# 3 Sorry. It's not that they don't want to apologize for winning you back, they really aren't sorry. Knowing that this is what you are probably looking for; They have no problem saying "I'm sorry" for their behavior. Beware! That doesn't mean they really live up to their mistakes or even feel remorse.
It's just an attempt to use your weak points as a good-natured soul to win you back.
# 4 They indirectly manipulate you like a puppeteer If they can't reach you directly because you've either blocked them or simply rejected them, they have no shame in going behind your back to find the person who comes to you. They know if they just come over to you they can buckle you up again.
The key to manipulation is finding someone in your heart who means most to you. Children are always a good target, as are the ones you trust the most. If you go to the people you confide in to bring your case forward, they manipulate them to bring you back.
Other forms of manipulation are coercion. If you share kids or even dogs with them, they'll have no problem using them as pawns in their vacuum-cleaning game.
# 5 reasons to message you. Even after you've made it clear that the two of you are over, someone vacuuming you continues to send you mundane messages. Things like “say your mom a happy birthday for me” or “did you take my photo album?” If you've never seen her album collection before.
The randomness of the news keeps you busy. You are constantly throwing yourself into your life waiting for the opening if you just give in and respond.
# 6 Telling them how much they love you. The difficulty with this maneuver is that they are unable to love, but you know that love is all you desire.
A narcissist goes very far, even faking love for you or telling you things like you are "their only soul mate." Or they “loved you when they first met you.” It's all a trick to suck you back in.
# 7 Use drama. If you stop worshiping a narcissist and cutting them out and all their efforts fail, they could give it one last effort to create drama. Whether it's spreading lies or depicting scenarios about what you did to them, vengeance will be their ultimate endeavor to get you to give in and come back.
Like a two year old stomping their feet no problem making your life hell so you give up and just come back to stop it.
# 8 Pretend they really need you. Since you are a giving soul, they targeted you with * a narcissist pretends that they need you back because they are in trouble.
Knowing that you are the person who can't step in to help someone who needs them, no matter how you feel, do whatever they can to get to you, including wrong scenarios like a sudden or a dramatic one Sickness to lure you back
There is nothing too far or excessive for a narcissist to bring you back into their web of worship. Either hidden or overt, they do everything in their power to suck you back in, just like a vacuum. So they feed on you again to make them feel fulfilled.
No matter how hard it is, if you give up and keep moving, keep moving. Do not come into the suction area of your vacuum cleaner.
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