How is a complex person

Let go of all your complexes

Last update: 30th January, 2018

Few things are more cathartic and satisfying than overcoming your complexes. Express yourself this way and love yourself for who you are. These are powerful weapons, self-esteem enhancers, iron shields that protect you from empty criticism and destructive comments. But how can you let go of all your complexes?

Until not so long ago, the subject of complexes belonged in psychoanalysis. A discipline in which terms such as Oedipus complex and electra complex are on the agenda and all behavior and personality traits are classified.

“A man should not strive to get rid of his complexes but to come into harmony with them. You are rightly what determines his behavior in the world. "

Sigmund Freud

The word “complex” was introduced by Carl Gustav Jung and later popularized with Freud’s psychoanalysis. In the thicket of terminology and in the attempt to categorize human behavior, everyone who deals with complexes always returns to the starting point: feelings of inferiority.

If someone tries to recognize and understand your reactions to their own shortcomings, it is almost like removing the nails that keep your cellar door closed. The basement is your private room, where you breathe in stuffy air and which has to be ventilated with confidence.

It is true that it is not easy. The process of breaking or restructuring destructive thought patterns takes time and empathy. As Freud himself once said there is a real trauma hidden behind some complexes.

The origin of complexes

It is interesting to examine the etymology of the terms we use so often. The word “complex” comes from the Latin “complectere” and means to embrace or embrace. We talk about being trapped in a tight grip in the sharp claws of a bear and forming a single being with it that is both predator and prey.

Any dictionary will tell you that Complexes are fed by your own irrational thoughts. Thoughts like "I look like a stranded whale", "I'm a coward and an ostrich that sticks its head in the ground" or "I am worthless" ruthlessly nurture the feeling of inferiority.

However, it is important to clarify that these irrational thoughts often arise out of real, painful situations. Most of our complexes have their origins in childhood. Not being valued, verbally abused, or being humiliated by parents creates deep wounds.

These traumatic events are then intensified in adolescence. The lack of self-esteem and trained defense strategies lead to the person being overwhelmed by the school jungle. School is a place where deficiencies, physical faults, behavioral problems, and even intelligence come into focus and are cruelly exposed.

Say goodbye to feelings of inferiority

It is important to develop immunity to the inferiority virus. The consequences of going through life with fragile self-esteem and self-concept are dire. For example, romantic relationships can become unhealthy and empower only one person while the other remains silent and submits.

"Humans differ from animals in their potential to develop complexes, be they those of superiority or inferiority."

Fernando Savater

Nobody is better than you and you are no better than anyone else. This is one of the truths that one should know and observe. But the bear likes to use its claws to keep reminding you how insignificant you are, how many flaws you have, and that your reflection in the mirror doesn't deserve a smile.

This is not the right way to deal with self-esteem. It is necessary to change thought patterns.

Tips to restore your self-esteem

There is no easy way to do it. To regain your self-esteem, you have to follow a stony, zigzag path that can only be reached with willpower and couragewhere you can finally scream: “I love myself the way I am! I am a good, beautiful, capable person worth finding happiness. "

Complexes are fed if you underestimate yourself. Sometimes feelings of inferiority arise in a toxic family, difficult childhood or adolescence. Sometimes they are innate, depending on the personality type. It is always very helpful to know why you are thinking, how you are thinking, and what made you develop such a destructive view of yourself.

People who undervalue themselves are also undervalued by others. You have to change the discourse, attitude, tone of voice, and treatment you use towards yourself. To do that, you must first stop comparing yourself to others. The only valid point of reference to look out for is yourself.

Express yourself. Find a channel where you can feel good about yourself, empower yourself, discover yourself, and love yourself. Dance, exercise, painting, and writing are nice ways to channel your emotions.

Think about the attitudes and people you are attached to. Do they respect you Do they allow you to be yourself? Do they make you feel alright? Sometimes breaking up with certain environments and people can be a way to restore self-esteem and letting go of those complexes that reinforce other people.

Always remember that we are not in this world to suffer and lock our wonderful selves in the prison of complexes. We deserve to be free, happy, and authentic, and most importantly, to live our own reality, not the one that others dictate for us.

Images courtesy of Hilda and Emma Uber

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