How often do you judge yourself

Helping others instead of judging them

Last update: 08 March, 2017

How often do we spend time in our life gossiping about others? It seems that it is the favorite sport of many peopleto judge others, is it yours too? You may not even be aware of this because it's something we do almost automatically.

The problem with this is that you are not helping whoever you are judging or yourself. Think about the number of times a relationship has been lost or compromised just because someone had to constantly speak up about everything. This time I want to talk about the other side of the coin: objective criticism. You will see that it is not that difficult to help someone instead of judging them.

The difference between objective criticism and condemnation

You have to be clear that there is nothing wrong with giving your opinion if it is a simple comment and you know that it is up to the recipient whether they want to heed it or not. Judging someone, however, means expressing negative criticism about the lives of others. This is destructive when the other person feels that what they are doing is wrong without however having a logical explanation for it.

The difference between condemnation and objective criticism is in the arguments on which your opinion is built. Do you know all the factors that influence the situation or are you just scratching the surface? Does what you say help or hurt the other person?

Before looking at the lives of others, look at your own

We see and hear what others are doing in our lives and it is very easy for us to give our opinion. Before we open our mouths next time, let's think about how things are going in our own lives. Don't get this wrong, see this as a self-assessment exercise.

Most of the time, we criticize others for what we don't like in our lives. You may not agree with this now, but think about it: Do you judge the way your girlfriend dresses because you can't dress like that even though you want to? What you criticize says a lot more about you than you think.

Don't waste your time

Usually we complain that we don't have the time to do what we want to do. But the real problem is not lack of time, it is bad timing. If you Spending time judging and gossiping about others, think about what exactly they are doing and why it is wrong for you to distract yourself.

First of all you should know that maybe they didn't ask for your opinion because they weren't interested in it or because everything is fine with them. Then why don't you focus on doing something for yourself? If someone wants to know what you think about them, then they will surely ask you at the right moment. Stop wasting energy thinking about how life should be stranger and focus on getting what you want in your life. Play with your kids, go out with your friends, or read a good book.

Don't let your prejudices bother you

Prejudice is a big problem in our society. Prejudices limit us as persons and give us a wrong idea of ​​what is right and what is wrong. Do you judge others based on prejudice? What if the person you think badly about for misbehaving ends up becoming your best friend?

I have a friend who got a tattoo at a very young age. To date there have been a few more and he never had any problems with them until he moved. Although he previously had a very well-paid job and has great experience, many people now refuse to hire him with his tattoos.

All of this is based on a totally unfounded prejudice. Not all people with tattoos are criminals, nor do all criminals have tattoos. Some ideas about our culture help us form personal and social identities. Others, on the other hand, form a barrier that prevents us from looking a little further into the unknown. Don't be afraid to break with conventions and look at others from a different angle.

How can you help instead of judging?

If you only spend your time judging others, you are not helping them or yourself. It is impossible that someone who only seeks the negative can be happy. Instead, focus on being a companion and helper for the people you care about. In reality, it's not that difficult. It's about being a support and not the stone that gets in the way.

For example, if your brother's car broke down, you should ask him if you might be able to drive it instead of criticizing him for not looking after it well. If you can, do it. As an aside, you can say that he should be a little more careful with his car, but without reproaching him endlessly about what he has done badly.

So try to help the people around you instead of judging them. Put aside the criticism and negative opinions, stop focusing on the negative, and look for a way to express positive. Always aim for improvement and help for others.