What should I do as a housewife
Family life: can you still only want to be a housewife today?
Four women share their experiences as full-time mothers
Here four women describe why they made a conscious decision to leave the professional world when the children came - and what reactions they experienced after this step.
Attention: In favor of the open word, we have decided not to show the mothers in the picture and to change their first names.
"Our family model is not valued"
Andrea * (27 years) clerk, married, two sons (eleven months and three years), says:
"Unfortunately, the fact that I am not working is very negative for our surroundings. That annoys me. I am constantly asked when the little one is going to the daycare and when I am going back to work.
My family and our children fill me up. Unfortunately, you can't say that out loud if you don't want to be labeled a stupid housemaid. You are really belittled.
The reporting everywhere goes to the fact that everyone hands over their child to the day-care center by the age of one at the latest. But I don't just want to serve our children with breakfast in the morning and put them to bed in the evening.
I often feel like an exotic woman. In my environment, all mothers work, but not all because they really have to. In truth, they just don't want to give up their high standard of living. They have a child, buy a house, have two cars and continue to take several vacations a year. You can of course only finance that with two salaries. "
"The stupidest job is worth more than what I do as a mother and housewife"
Jana (36 years old) trained nurse, married, three children (eleven, four and one year old), says:
"Family work is just as important as paid work? In theory maybe, but what I do every day is nowhere near as valued as the dullest, dumbest job.
Behind the scenes, any mother who chooses to do family work is thought to be comfortable. Or for limited because it accepts considerable financial disadvantages and risks in favor of housework and upbringing. You can only be stupid, right? Not correct. Our decision was made consciously and we are also aware of the risks. I would like a little more respect for that.
The fact that we look after the elderly parents and take on a large part of the voluntary work that occurs in kindergartens and schools is often overlooked. The working parents keep a low profile. But at Advent and summer festivals and school tombolas that we prepare, we are happy to serve you the homemade cakes. "
"Please no conditions like in France"
Alexandra (28 years), photographer, married, one son (six months), says:
Most of the mothers with young children around me have to work. No one is happy with that. I don't think we need conditions like in France, where many mothers take psychotropic drugs to endure it.
After studying in the USA, I did a not very exciting office job for five years and quit almost two years ago. I actually wanted to start my own business as a photographer, but shortly afterwards I became pregnant. It was therefore clear that I would be absent again immediately with the birth of our child. So I postponed it for now and really enjoyed being able to be pregnant, relaxed and fully concentrated.
My day is well filled even without a job. When I have some time, I try to do something useful - although that usually ends with housework. But actually I think that as a mother you don't have to do something meaningful all the time. I try to take care of myself in my limited free time. It makes you a better mother. If I can sit in the sun for an hour and have a coffee, I'm much calmer and more relaxed. "
"Mothers who don't have to work are actually envied"
Tanja (40 years old), advertising clerk, married, two sons (one and three years old), says:
I went back to work on a part-time basis a year after my first son was born and, honestly, it was terrible. I had a 25-hour contract, but in a management position it was definitely not feasible. I earned well, but I also spent a lot of money in the year between the two children. I always had to go shopping in expensive stores at the last minute. The tiredness in the second pregnancy also bothered me.
In any case, with the second child it was clear that I would stay at home. I think it is extremely important to be present for children in a way that is nice for the children and the parents.
Fortunately, I live in a social environment in which it is accepted that mothers forego a career in favor of the family. So personally I don't feel any pressure to go back to the job. But outside of my circles it is different. There is a lot of envy. "
What do you think of these mothers' reports? Do they speak from your heart - maybe also because you have had very similar experiences? Or are you unable to understand the attitude of the four respondents at all?
We look forward to your opinion and your personal experiences. We would therefore be delighted if you would send them to us in the form of an email. We publish your contribution here!
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