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To ask? What you should know about homosexuality in women

Nobody should have to justify their way of loving. Nevertheless, it is not always easy for many homosexuals to stand by their sexuality in everyday life. Doubt, social pressure, the burden of bringing up children, the irritation of the environment ... Many are also simply afraid of disappointing the expectations of their families. And that's a shame. Because that's how you will remain unhappy in the long term.

Wall in the mind despite great tolerance

The fact is: homosexuality irritates many people, especially those who have never dealt with it or in whose vicinity nobody is homosexual. Then unfortunately it often happens that you talk to heterosexuals and hear the following sentence: "I have nothing against homosexuals. But my own son / daughter should rather be 'normal'." Ultimately, this shows that people like to be enlightened and tolerant, but still have the old norms in mind.

This behavior is also supported by a study by the Federal Anti-Discrimination Agency. 95 percent of Germans say that it is good that homosexuals are protected from discrimination by law. But if you ask in more detail, like the survey by Dr. As you can see, Beate Küpper from the Niederrhein University of Applied Sciences shows that tolerance is not far off.

Because if we are confronted directly with homosexuality, for example with a kissing couple, it looks quite different: only around 10 percent say that they find the sight of a gay couple embracing uncomfortable. However, when it comes to a lesbian couple, 27.5 percent say so. Even 38.4 percent find the sight of two men kissing uncomfortable.

Let's clean up with ignorance and prejudice:

A reason to do some education and answer the most important questions about homosexuality in women. Because it happens all too often to many straight people that they want to be open and interested, but then ultimately ask really stupid questions, such as, "Who is the man in your lesbian relationship?" So here are the most important questions that many straight people are sure to ask lesbian women:

"How do I know that I'm gay?"

It is not easy to determine for yourself who you love - whether men or women or both. All of this takes time, and you should give it to yourself. What you can do: Ask yourself questions, such as whether you are more likely to look at women or men. Whether you can imagine more than friendship with women or whether you have perhaps already fallen in love with a woman.

It can also help to read through books on the subject, be they counselors or other women’s coming out stories. Or you can watch movies that are about lesbian love. Perhaps you can also exchange ideas with other women who are similar, for example in forums.

So if you are wondering whether you love being gay, bisexual or whatever, or if you are still hesitant to come out, you should give yourself the time you need, inform yourself, investigate your feelings and at some point be confident about your nature Love standing. That may be easy to say, but it is the only right way to be happy.

"How do I know that other women are also lesbians?"

In all honesty: You can't tell someone's sexual preferences. So why should you recognize gays and lesbians by their looks? Ultimately, the only thing that helps is what straight people also have to do: Talk to someone and see what happens. Of course, one can say that lesbian women tend to feel the crackling among each other, just like straight people who find each other attractive.

You can of course make things easier for yourself by going to lesbian cafes or parties or by registering in relevant forums. After all, every community has its pubs and clubs so that you can mingle with the people there.

"Is there a female and a male part in lesbian couples?"

Unfortunately, this is again a heterosexual mindset that assumes that a couple needs a male and a female part. Of course, as with heterosexual couples, there is often a more dominant part and a less dominant part with lesbian couples. But the fact that we perceive one as male and the other as female is just a conservative way of thinking. So if you want to deal with homosexuality or bisexuality, you should simply free yourself from the old thought patterns.

"How does lesbian sex work?"

Just as straight is more than just penetration, but also stroking, licking, fingering, rubbing, anal sex, oral sex and more, sex with lesbian women is also diverse. And of course there are also all facets that heterosexual sex can also have, such as SM, role play etc. Sex toys are of course also great, such as dildos, strap-on dildos and vibrators. But not every woman needs penetration during sex. It's a matter of taste.

The fact that women are better able to climax because they know what each other likes may be true in theory, but we all know that every person is different when it comes to sex and has different preferences. In this respect, the sex between two women is always completely new and a test of what pleases and turns on and what doesn't. However, women have one plus: they can have multiple orgasms and do not necessarily need a short rest period after the orgasm.

If that's still too abstract for you, you can click your way through the lesbian Kama Sutra:
Kamasutra for Lesbians: The 100 Best Positions

"For many men, lesbian couples are a sexual fantasy that turns them on. Is that annoying?"

For lesbian women it is ultimately the same as for any other: It is an invasion of their privacy when men stare at them and even ask if they can join in. That is absolutely wrong. Many homosexual female couples hold back with all kinds of caresses in public because they do not want to be a dull male fantasy.

"Being bi or having tried sex with a woman has been considered cool for straight women for a few years now. Doesn't that really bother you?"

About 80 percent of straight women have lesbian fantasies. So it is not surprising that they also pursue their wishes and make out with a woman or even have sex. There are of course lesbian women who find this exciting, but if you are looking for a steady, long-term relationship, you will of course have little use. And: A lesbian woman is not a self-awareness course.

You might also be interested in:


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