Why did I become so still


  1. 30.01.2013, 22:50#1
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    Help i'm too calm!

    Hello dear forum,

    I have a problem: I am a very calm person. When I am with friends or family I speak quite normally, but when I am with strangers, especially older people, I speak far too little. I am by nature a person who exudes calm and does not tell much on my own. I don't know why, but I am just like that and I also believe that my friends like me for who I am.

    But unfortunately there is still time at work. I feel very comfortable there and actually like to go there. But I notice it so often that a whole day goes by and I haven't spoken more than 5 sentences. I hate myself for that, because I actually want to be a communicative person. When I am with people of the same age, younger or with people who are on the same level as me, I have no problems at all talking, but as soon as I am with older or Small talk with supervisors, I just don't know what to say. Then my head is empty, I am silent and only speak when I am asked something. And even then, I only give brief answers. Oh, that annoys me so much! What can I do? Can you give me some advice or share your experience?

    Thanks in advance!

  2. 30.01.2013, 23:25#2

    I think maybe you are not too calm, but the others are just too loud

    I like quiet people, they are often very interesting, more interesting than the speakers.

    But if you suffer from stress or you get professional problems as a result, you just have to practice so that it gets better. It can help if you prepare for situations that you know beforehand. Have a few stencils ready for you.

    Don't try to be spontaneous or drown everyone out from now on. First content yourself with minor improvements and observe the results.

    Purposely create situations for yourself to practice in. Start conversations and "have" conversations. Try to find out what might be of interest to the other person, if you just give a cue, they'll start to shine and start talking. Ask a question. Direct the focus away from you, which relaxes.

    Now there are a few tips that I know. But you can also take rhetoric courses or work on your self-esteem in general. Not all at once, of course, take your time.

    You know, there are quite calm and self-confident people who are also very popular. I've read that the confident, introverted guy is the "noblest" of them all. I think that's something that can help you as an attitude too.

  3. 31.01.2013, 02:43#3

  4. 31.01.2013, 09:28#4

  5. 09.02.2013, 17:54#5
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    Quiet people are great! When you exude calm you automatically attract people who want just that. Personally, I hate pointless talk about superficial subjects.
    I am also a person who says little, but as soon as there is something to discuss and philosophize, then I'll be there.

    I don't think it's really a problem
    Quote by Aurelius
    Purposely create situations for yourself to practice in. Start conversations and "have" conversations. Try to find out what might be of interest to the other person, if you just give a cue, they'll start to shine and start talking. Ask a question. Direct the focus away from you, which relaxes.
    that's exactly what I would recommend to you!
    Good luck with it (:

  6. 10.03.2013, 14:26#6
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    Hello Kati,

    It used to be the same for me, I was also a very calm person - even now I'm not the speaker who always has to give long and broad presentations on everything.
    I've just developed myself in the last few years, I've had a lot of ominous moments that allowed me to mature as a person. And above all, I made it clear to myself that a change in my behavior doesn't happen overnight - it just takes time. And you should give yourself that too

  7. 02.04.2013, 15:55#7

  8. 08.04.2013, 23:45#8
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    Quote by Kati1
    Hello dear forum,

    I have a problem: I am a very calm person. When I am with friends or family, I speak normally, but when I am with strangers, especially older people, I speak far too little. I am by nature a person who exudes calm and does not tell much on my own. I don't know why, but I am just like that and I also believe that my friends like me for who I am.

    But unfortunately there is still time at work. I feel very comfortable there and actually like to go there. But I notice it so often that a whole day goes by and I haven't spoken more than 5 sentences. I hate myself for that, because I actually want to be a communicative person. When I am with people of the same age, younger or with people who are on the same level as me, I have no problems at all talking, but as soon as I am with older or Small talk with supervisors, I just don't know what to say. Then my head is empty, I am silent and only speak when I am asked something. And even then, I only give brief answers. Oh, that annoys me so much! What can I do? Can you give me some advice or share your experience?

    Thanks in advance!
    Hello Kati,

    I came across your entry and have to tell you: you're writing to me from the bottom of my heart ^^
    If I read through this, I could actually have written it too ...
    I'm also a very calm person and have rather little self-confidence .... that may have a lot to do with the fact that I don't talk to "strangers" or at work ... Sometimes I think that I do just not born for "small talk" ...
    Sometimes, however, I notice that it is actually only like this at work ...

    How are you meanwhile How long have you been working in your current company?

    For me there are tense conditions in terms of the working atmosphere anyway ... There are some who tend to withdraw, which makes it more difficult to "work together" and in such situations, of course, I withdraw even more. Somehow the cat always bites its tail ^^

    Is there anyone else who feels the same way? E.g. also in such a way that you think that you don't fit anywhere professionally? O.o
    I can't keep changing jobs and hope for a better working atmosphere again, can I?

    I hope I don't write too confused ...

    In any case, I am of course happy about every post ...

    Lg

    Pia

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