Why do younger women hate older men

The fact that older men are into young women no longer blows anyone off their feet. But if she is older than him, suddenly a thousand questions arise - and prejudices: What does she want with the young guy? And what does he find in an old woman? In fact, according to the sociologist Ursula Richter, the man is younger than the woman in every fifth German marriage. Nevertheless, this love model is still viewed critically.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie are ten years apart, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutscher are 15 years apart. A social trend that has existed for years is reflected in the love stories of celebrities: "More and more women love younger men," says Richter. "While this form of love used to be an exception, it is ubiquitous today."

Mature women don't need a care provider

According to the sociologist, this has to do with the change in the image of women: "The modern woman is emancipated and decides what is good for her, regardless of old role models." While women of past generations still saw their partner as the provider and protector, modern women stand firmly on their own feet in life. "They are financially secure, have a good education and a job that makes them independent of men."

Younger men are particularly attractive when it comes to choosing a partner: "The new generation of men grew up with emancipated mothers and lives equality," says Richter. Women would appreciate that. While men of the same age or older are often still clinging to old role models, the younger partner naturally lends a hand. He cooks, washes his socks and surprises with spontaneous ideas.

"Young men are fascinated by their flexibility," says couples therapist Claudia Sies. A picnic in the country, the weekend trip to Paris: "Women enjoy this impartiality and freedom that young men bring into relationships." The question that remains is what men value in older partners.

Confidence - even in bed

"Younger men are fascinated by the self-confidence and charisma of mature women," says the US psychologist Jan Sinnott of Towson State University in Baltimore, who has researched the subject. "The young men think it's great when women know what they want and don't need anyone to guide them through life," added Richter. Young girls could often not keep up with the comparison: "They are still too bitchy, indecisive and immature for the men who are looking for strong women."

This also applies to the bed: "Women between 35 and 45 are in their sexual heyday and have a lot of experience," says Seis. No more awkward fiddling, no more insecurities or feelings of shame: "Young men appreciate that."

More freshness, more spontaneity, less stress: the age difference is good for many couples - contrary to all predictions, says Sinnott: "The younger partner also makes women feel young again. Such connections are more harmonious and lasting than is generally assumed."

But again and again women freshly in love have to listen to prophecies of doom from their family or friends: "It won't last long anyway" or "He'll soon be looking for a younger boy". Richter warns women not to take these sayings seriously: "Let the people talk, enjoy your happiness!" What if your own doubt gnaws? "Am I attractive enough in the long term? What happens when I'm 60 or 70?" Such questions are boring, especially when the age difference is very large. Ursula Richter advises calmness: "Do not question the decision of your younger partner. He loves you for who you are."

That is why women should also remain authentic. "Don't pretend to be younger just to prove something to himself or himself," she says. Going through the discos for nights, camping at festivals or sitting on the pillion in biker clothes: "If you don't feel like doing it, you shouldn't bend over to him." In order to do justice to the different needs, freedom is important: "Let him go when he gets caught up in the fury," advises Richter. "Trust is the be all and end all," adds Seis. Because if you have doubts about your own attractiveness, you quickly become jealous or fear of loss. Does he meet younger women there? Will he stay with me?

"Stop tormenting yourself with these questions," says Richter. Because those who constantly question the partner's decision, are jealous or cling, put a strain on the relationship. "Be calm, stay confident."

© Bettina Levecke, dpa / vs