Where does the term elbow fat come from?
The 13 Worst Celebrity Halloween Costumes Ever Made
Halloween is a whimsical time when you can pretend to be something you are not. Like a wizard, a ninja, a lacquered teak table or a celebrity. And if you want to dress up like an ordinary person whose brain has been intractably warped by the existentially horrific fact that millions of total strangers have opinions about you, then you're in luck! The masquerade merchants of the internet have been putting their elbows fat into their celebrity costumes this October. So let's see your cornucopia head-turning disguises.
# 13. This is Brad Pitt
Everyone has a favorite Brad Pitt movie, whether it is or or or. And with this high quality mask, you can be the Brad Pitt we know and love, of all the classic cinemas.
# 12. And this is Barack Obama
Some say that Barack Obama looks like a lycanthropic Tony Shalhoub. Others speculate that the Commander In Chief's cavernous crow's feet was hiding mutineers' treasure that has been buried in his countenance since the mid-1500s. But one thing is certain: Obama has never been seen in public at all, as no president has exposed his executive face to the public since the passage of the Shadowmaster Act of 1834.
# 11. Wow, the stars of Hollywood's golden era!
James Dean was known as a "Rebel Without a Cause" throughout his life. Historians aren't sure why he was so named, but scholars suggest "the cause" was "a strong aversion to flaking historians' faces." (PS: the historians are not sure. Because they are all faceless and dead.)
Marilyn Monroe is famous for her pioneering role as Glenn Close body-double in. For best results, live in a cave for several weeks before truly capturing Jeaness' famous translucent cave fish epidermis with this mask. Next up is Elvis himself! Looked like someone Elvis!
We finally have another Elvis from that exciting time in his career when he replaced his front teeth with cob corn. Audiences everywhere asked me, "He's going to accidentally eat his teeth? What if the stage gets too hot and his mouth explodes a geyser of decadent and buttery Pop Secret? When will bloody stems burst from cheeks?" The king always kept her guessing!
# 10. Dwayne Johnson, everyone!
This mask dutifully creates the cherished grimace that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson made in the film. This film currently holds a rating, 41 percent, on Rotten Tomatoes because most of the critics were unable to convey the film's beauty in written prose and simply not at hand in their ratings. It was the biggest case of Stendhal Syndrome ever recorded!
# 9. Now the Mona Lisa!
What if the Mona Lisa jumped out of its frame? What if they book of terrible poetry about chastised gargoyles and dark waterfalls? What if her Grimoire was just a free folder she got at the midnight premiere? What if she went to a Hoobastank concert? What if she had extraordinary bo?
#8th. Charlie Chaplin, the little tramp!
You can't just buy this mask. No, this mask is only for all those real-ace movie freaks out there who know that the early black and white movie cameras sucked the pigment out of actors' faces. Thats why Orson Welles called them "soul vacuums."
# 7. Wayne's World!
Swing, you wanker!
# 6. President Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush Veep!
Who can forget the Reagan White House? Everyone got lost but eventually found their way, Jennifer Connelly was it, and David Bowie spun a series of balls and sang a song about his huge penis or something. It was a great time being American.
# 5. Don't look now - it's Mr. Bean!
Some of our younger readers may not be familiar with famous bumbler English comedian Rowan Atkinson, Mr. Bean. But here is some backstory: Mr. Bean lives deep in the New Mexico desert, calls himself "The Final One" in the Hopi language, pursues the Playas in a floating cocoon made a viscous slime and cannot use conventional means (only a wish on a starless night unspoken) to be killed. This is British humor for you!
# 4. Oh it's Hollywood heartthrob Tom Cruise!
It is 9:34 p.m. on Saturday night. You lie alone on your bed, staring at a mirror. You can see your fate deep in the reflecting Otherspace. You are a racing driver. You are a fighter pilot. You are a US Navy attorney. You're an army dropout, slap gin like a demon. You're a sports agent with a heart of gold smeared with shit. You are an honorable gringo in the Meiji Restoration. You're a divorced woman in a feverish dream h.g. Wells. They are the spoke imaginations of mothers and fathers everywhere. The world cannot dream without your permission. You are an idea incarnate. They are made of meat celluloid. Your erection dates back to 1981.
Your mirror is this mask. This mask is your destiny. Hang it up and beat the shit off some mugger.
# 3. America's sweetheart Jennifer Aniston!
Bring this mask should you ever visit another dimension where everyone is a creepy boardwalk figure from Wildwood, New Jersey. Everyone will know that you were once the star of the dated.
# 2. The governator! He is back!
This. This is the face that has delighted the world for decades. The godfather, unsmirched by foolish hair. The mockery born of the steadfast refusal to consume any other food source besides concentrated lemon protein. The ashen crazy eyes because he refused to sleep between 1970 and 1975, so a puny hypocrite might try to rob him of his Mr. Olympia title in his sleep.
This is the first and only Arnold Schwarzenegger; a man so incessantly violent that the US government gave him the entire state of California to quench his thirst for blood. He ruled unchallenged for years rivers of human innards from Eureka to Escondido flow steadily. His reign eventually ended with the Oakland Raiders, who teamed up with the San Diego Chargers to crush him under a 200-foot tall redwood crucifix. Thank god he's dead.
#1. And who could forget Sheldon?
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