Men give up on romance

What every man should know about romance




What exactly is romance?

The fact that people grimace as soon as they just hear the word is mostly related to their experiences: there are supposed to be people who think romance is stupid - then it often has to do with the fact that they cannot take it well when the person opposite them or that they have had experiences with hidden romance, i.e. with experiences that are not romantic at the moment.

What romance is not:

  • Romance has nothing to do with candles, roses, red wine, or an open fireplace.
  • Romance has nothing to do with gifts, with licorice rasps and any oaths of love and nothing to do with cheesy music or other nonsense.
  • Being romantic is not only for Valentine's Day, the anniversary or the wedding day.
  • Romance isn't pink or red or cheesy.
  • Romance has nothing to do with what you buy or do - it has more to do with how and, above all, why!


In the dictionary you will find references to the term "romantic" such as:

Emotional, enthusiastic, filled with strong, often unrealistic imagination and imagination (a romantic mind, a romantic person); adventurous, mysterious, captivating (a romantic incident, story) and then the words atmospheric, delightful and picturesque.


  • How do you be romantic?
  • How do you find out how romantic she is?
  • What is a romantic gesture?
  • How Much Romance is Good?
  • How romantic can you be (at the beginning)?
  • How do you arrange a romantic date?
To be romantic calledNot, To be "pompous" or inauthentic. Your kind of romance should match who you are - but also how "she" is ... because * drum roll * ultimately it's only about one thing:


Romance means making someone feel special.

So it's not about what you do, but what feeling you trigger in your counterpart. Of course, that also carries a risk: If you mean well, but she doesn't feel well, the magic can backfire.
If your friend tells you that you are "unromantic", then she wants to tell you that she is sad or angry that you are not showing her that she is special to you or that you broke a moment in that she wanted to feel close to you.
Because that - the closeness - is basically the background of every romantic action:
If you can convey to your girlfriend or your date that you think she is special and that this moment with her is something special, then she will feel very close to you (and usually show it physically).
How you do it, however, is more or less up to you: It can simply be a moment - a look, a gesture, a word, something that arises spontaneously. It can also work by creating a special moment that is only yours. It can be very romantic when a man has memorized something that the woman told him a long time ago and he goes into it later: Something that you particularly like, for example. Whenever you manage to make your friend feel very special through an action of yours or in a moment with you, then that is very romantic ...


Examples of romance:

  • Of course, it can be very romantic if you bring her flowers - but only if she actually likes flowers. For example, if you've found out (inconspicuously !!!) what her favorite flowers are, then it can be very romantic when she gets them from you - of course, it's even more romantic when she gets them when she doesn't expect them at all . For example, if the flowers appear somewhere where it is not common.
  • It is also romantic when you know that she has a favorite snack and you think of it (the often quoted "Duplo from the gas station").
  • A small sticky note with a love message in a place where you don't even expect it is romantic.
  • It is romantic to do something for them - without expecting anything in return.
  • It is romantic to remember when she likes something very much ...
  • It can also be romantic if, for example, she gives you a gift that she has absolutely nothing of, but knows that it means a lot to you (cliché alarm: ’a ticket for a sold out football game, for example, mega-romantic or?)
  • It can be romantic to tell her that she is the most beautiful woman for you - when she wakes up next to you without make-up in her pajamas.

Romance can take place in a wide variety of places in a wide variety of situations.

Romance is something very personal:

And that is exactly the "highlight" of romance: To be really romantic means that you have seriously thought about it and that you show her how important it is to you. You express that you care about her feelings and needs and that she is very special to you.

In other words: It's about finding out what she thinks is really great or what is important to her and using that in a way that she then says: "Wow, you did that FOR ME ????"

What romance brings you

Please be careful how, how often and with what attitude you use romance: If you want to conquer a woman and therefore send her flowers, letters and teddy bears every day, that is not romantic!

If you want to be romantic, you should do so from a confident and self-assured attitude:

You do that Notbecause you want her to like you!

You do it because you like her!

That's quite a big difference. And a very important difference!

In the first case, you're the idiot who would do anything to be liked by her. You do whatever she could possibly like and poke around her like a little pooch wanting her attention. Not very sexy, is it?

But if you do it because you like them - then you do what you think is good and what you really want to do (or say). If she doesn't like it, that's okay too. You don't need a specific reaction from her. You could even make a romantic gesture anonymously - and just watch her be happy. Because you like them. You are not needy and not dependent on her. The makes you really sexy!

If you also find your action, your gesture or the moment you created romantic: bingo!

And then?

Pretty simple: women love romantic moments when they feel very special. And usually they love the man who makes them feel special - in other words, if you can make them feel special - they will love you.

Even in a longer relationship, creating a romantic moment is the absolute aphrodisiac!



Romantic experiences

Romance can have many faces - and sometimes you can't even plan it: Sometimes you do or say something and only realize afterwards that it was very romantic or that it triggered that special feeling in others.

Of course, I've also experienced really romantic things in my past - the men who have done this for me or with whom I have experienced this have burned themselves into my heart in a very special way. I'll tell you a few moments of it, as a little "suggestion" - but most of them are quite "exhausting"! You have to really like the woman if you're teasing something like this:

  • When I was 23, my boyfriend at the time lived 600 km away. When it was my birthday he couldn't come to see me because he had to take an important exam. He secretly "let in" my two friends, who prepared a surprise party for me on the eve of my birthday and then drove me to the airport early in the morning (and rather well dressed) because he had booked a plane ticket for me with his last money. So we could still be together.
  • I met a man through friends who lived 300 km away - and we talked the whole evening. We laughed a lot and gave each other nicknames. A few days later there was a small box in the mail with a self-made “pop-up” piece of art that was about our jokes.
  • One of my friends once wrote me a poem for Valentine's Day - although he was not at all good at it. The poem was really pretty awful and he knew it - but he wanted to show me that he loved me so much that he wanted to do something romantic for me that he can't at all ... he likes to "embarrass himself" out of love. I found that very romantic.
  • When I met my husband, he wrote a song for me after we first met.
  • My husband gave me a cinema ticket for a performance with a panel discussion in which one of my all-time favorite actors, Armin Müller-Stahl, took part and made sure that I got to know him.
  • When my ex-boyfriend realized that he had really sold on me, he gave me a box of favorite home-baked cookies, even though he knew that I would not take it back. I found that very romantic - and I'm glad and grateful that we're still friends.
  • When I “had to” celebrate my birthday alone, a friend took the time to celebrate my birthday with me over thousands of kilometers (and time difference) via Skype and to get drunk with me…. I found it somehow very romantic too!

So I hope you got a pretty good impression ...

What do you find romantic?

What has happened to you romantically before or what has someone done for you that you found very romantic?

Write in the comments what you have experienced - I'm looking forward to it!