How was your first love affair?

Why does it hurt me so much not to be your first boyfriend?

Schroti said:

Do you fear comparison?

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Hmm, kind of. I - the guy who has hardly ever had sex against the other sex partners, who probably did everything to her who knows ...

Alböguhl said:

Who did you sleep with, weren't they sex partners?
You may, SHE not!
Especially with what, we don't live to believe, but to learn.
If you stop wanting to get better, you stop being good.

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Dating app acquaintance. It was just one person and it didn't quite work. It never came back to that person because I was too embarrassed that my friend downstairs simply failed.

Kylar said:

Hi,
I think there is nothing special about being the first partner for someone else.
It is especially to be the LAST partner for someone else.

The sex partners or the last type of relationship your girlfriend had were not the right ones for her, otherwise they would be with your girlfriend now and not you.
Looking at the past is useless. If you're the only man she wants now, everything's fine, isn't it?
Maybe you can come to terms with the idea more if you realize that you actually didn't do it any differently than your girlfriend. You say "Sex was OFTEN unhappy for me". So you probably wanted to have sex with several women in the past instead of saving yourself for your current girlfriend. If your nervousness hadn't got in the way, you wouldn't be the "brand-new car" either, but would have already had one or two trips behind you. Wouldn't it hurt your current girlfriend, would it?

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Thanks, so I try to think about it too. Not the partners before, but I think the last partner is always the most important. And of course I wanted sex too, but I never really got around to it. What has never been the case with me, for example, is that I've never really been in love. She's the first one I really have a crush on. That's why this love is something very special from my side, but somehow it feels so unbalanced when she has probably already experienced these great feelings with other men. And no, of course she wouldn't care if I had a handful of sex partners as well, that would have been only fair. She would still have loved me. I love you too and I'm not going to break up because of such nonsense, I just want to somehow get away from these weird thoughts ... things that I don't really feel like thinking about. Somehow I just seem to be more jealous than I would have ever admitted. I kind of get stomach cramps when I think about the fact that some men were pounding rhymes on her and got you to orgasm.


Lalelu123 said:

Why is this so important to you and what do you expect from her? The reason you're offended is because of your own passivity. She is your first relationship. What if you had been just as active as she was?

You have increased self-esteem, you see yourself as a "special man", but you haven't achieved much in terms of women. However, I don't believe in having a lot of self-confidence if that offends you so much.

She had a past without you, you are together now. Do you want to block yourself with these trains of thought, how many men she had before you. And what is the meaning of the phrase "they already had to satisfy?" What is sex to you A job?

Yes, then she has physical experience with men. If you can't handle it and you're the one who's having a problem with it, then that doesn't suit you.

From my point of view, it's all about your male ego. Would you most like to be a virgin, but at your age?

Then look for an inexperienced woman who has no comparison options, with whom you can then be "the best".

Your train of thought is poisonous to your relationship. She cannot do anything, it all happens in your head and you can only solve your conflict.

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That's exactly what I can't tell you why this is so important to me. It just feels kind of weird. I didn't mean to say somehow that she was to blame. This problem is entirely my mindset. She didn't do anything wrong anywhere and I don't expect anything from her now. I just want to get rid of these stupid thoughts and ask myself why it bothers me so. Keep this mental cinema like a handful of men have been on it before doing the dirtiest things. It just kind of gives me stomach cramps and I want to stop thinking about that ... Finding an inexperienced woman is not easy either and was never a MUST for me. Still, I wonder why it is such a problem for me and how I can get rid of these thoughts once and for all

Reignoverme said:

You surely know the comparison with the half-filled glass? For one it is half full, for the other half empty. Is simply at the point of view of the beholder.

And that's exactly how it is with your girlfriend. You think it would be great if you were her first too. I can understand, but it has not only advantages. First of all, I would always be afraid, if I am the first, that she would someday fall into the trap, that she would like to know what it is like to sleep with others. When it gets to that point, and it usually does at some point, it's only a matter of time before she loses interest in you and finds someone she wants to try it out with. By the way, I see the same problem with you.

Second, it has a very decisive advantage if someone is already sexually experienced and knows what he / she likes / dislikes. The phase where you need months and years to find out exactly is already behind you and instead of having to laboriously figure it all out, you can just enjoy the thing in itself.

And if she has already had several relationships and is now with you, then you could also see that the others were not good enough, otherwise they would not have broken up. So you should be happy that she is with you now, because apparently you don't fall into the "wrong" grid like the others?

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Exactly, the risk would of course be there. Of course, I'm also fair and say that I'm also afraid of myself for that matter. That at some point I might get too curious and want to know how it would be with other women. Right now this is absolutely unthinkable for me, but of course I'm afraid of being able to change myself, maybe after 2-3 arguments.
And thanks for the last few sentences, that's how I try to think too ... The others weren't good enough ... But of course you think that you might end up in the same drawer at some point ^^ Oh, I don't know either. I try to see the whole thing in a positive way. Actually, it wouldn't be good if it were so uptight. I like it that she talks so openly about sex and apparently even got herself toys. But at the same time it scares me again how often the toys weren't enough. I don't want a pig as a friend, I want a valuable lady to fight for, like I did for her for a few weeks. But when she tells me about any festivals, parties, male friends, etc. then I have all sorts of head cinemas, whether I have always misjudged her and she is actually the type of woman I absolutely don't like and she just does it for me concealed.

Schroti said:

"Sex was also often unhappy for me. I was never able to" finish "sleeping with the person. Something always got in the way (nervousness etc) and then I always had to stop."

Does this problem still exist?

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Fortunately not. I have great sex with her