Older women fantasize about younger men

My husband dreams of a younger woman

Martina, 48:My husband, 50, fantasized about being with a 20 year old at a party with other men. It's all fun, he says, and finds my hurt being excessive.

Berit Brockhausen:It's a shame that he doesn't stand by his mind games. That would hurt you too, but it would clear something up between you. Of course, men (and not just they) fantasize about what it would be like to be around other lovely people. And that reminds your husband and you that you are two different people who have decided in favor of something in common - but who could decide against it at any time. No wonder you feel uncomfortable. But at 48 you are a personality, a woman who knows who she is. Namely no more 20 years (what luck!). So why should you withdraw, hurt and hurt?

Accept your discomfort and care about that 50 year old by your side. Do you ask him what he would do differently with a younger partner? What would he do with her? And yes, what would attract him during sex? Much of that won't go between the two of you. So please don't feel responsible for doing the same to your husband in the first place. Much more important is the question: How do we deal with the fact that we are getting older? What is difficult for me, what are you fighting against? But also: Where did we as a couple retire unnecessarily early?

If you have the courage to approach your husband with these questions, he may very quickly wishing it was really just a joke. I wish you that he will be infected by your courage!

Brockhausen portrait

Berit Brockhausen is one of the leading psychologists in Germany and our expert on relationships. Regardless of whether you have questions about love or family, friends or neighbors - you will get a clear answer here.